Archive for April, 2008

Anney E. J. Ryan hails from Phoenixville, Pennsylvania, a town best known for its stint in the 1950’s cult classic, The Blob. She is the eldest daughter of an ex-nun and songwriting accountant.

She started writing at six years old. Suffering from insomnia and sleep paralysis, she needed something to do during the night. As a teenager, she wrote and performed her own songs both solo and in punk bands around Philadelphia. She studied writing at Kutztown University, and lists her greatest writing achievement as getting her tires slashed after penning a negative theater review for the school newspaper.

In 2003, Anney received her MFA from Emerson College in Boston, Massachusetts. Since then, she’s been published in the Philadelphia Inquirer, Skope Magazine, and has publications forthcoming in Post Road and the Kenyon Review. She’s also the author of blogs AEJR and FartyGirl. In her free time she watches the Red Sox and collects old phones and Buster Brown Shoe Store memorabilia.

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Malta-born and ambidextrous, Jefferson Korneleus Holland learned juggling as a form of self-defense meant to keep him off the mean Maltese streets. It didn’t take, thanks to a staggering lack of interest and coordination. Fortunately, in Malta, there are no gangs. Only roving packs of chest hair.

When the sun-kissed island found itself facing a conquering hoard of Mongolians (who, it turns out, had only intended to deliver some takeout, but decided to invade once they got there and saw just how ripe for the pickings Malta really was), Holland smuggled himself to the United States using a powerful blend of shamanic ritual magic and his diminutive stature, which he used to fold himself into a piece of luggage. Carry-on luggage. In retrospect, he should’ve just paid for the stinking plane ticket.

Once in the states, he spent his teenage years on the not-exactly-mean-but-certainly-a-bit-standoffish streets of East Norriton busking as a street-ukulelist, until a kindly bearded gent offered him money to pick-a-pocket-or-two. The fact that the old man loudly sang this in plain view of police officers led his immediate arrest. Once again, thanks to his miniscule frame, Holland got away by slipping into the fanny-pack of a passing tourist.

That tourist turned out to be from Kutztown. And so Holland attended college at their local university, hitting the books with every waking hour that was not spent reading comics, learning how to drink, or staring at girls with hair colors not found in nature.

He eventually settled on the noble major of Professional Writing, up until the moment that he realized it was highly unlikely that it would make him rich. Y’know, stupid-rich. Lotto Rich. So, utilizing a decision-making process that could only be described as “bourbon-soaked,” he switched to English Education. While student-teaching he learned to his horror that teaching was a lot of hard work for the sake of a bunch of bastard kids.

Directionless and mildly bored, Holland spent his post-college time traveling America, searching for the truth of his country by basking in the glow of the world’s largest twine ball. When he returned home, he stumbled headlong into a job as a professional googler and stayed there long after was healthy.

Recently, his long, twisty-straw journey has brought him back to professional writing, where he is currently a multiple threat. He is a founding writer for Threat Quality and I Speak TV, a contributing writer for Lehigh Valley Hospital, and, during his 40 hours of off-time per week, assistant editor for Progressive Business Publications.

It should also be noted that Jeff Holland is also an inveterate liar with a somewhat tenuous grip on reality.


Who is Threat Quality?
The nerve structure of Threat Quality Press is currently built out of four cultural superspies, staking out different corners of the 21st century. Walking on the generational spiderwebs between print and internet. Born with MTV and relieved to have outlived it.
Ideally, our numbers will grow, as the shape of this thing becomes a little more clear to everyone, and more writers want to join up. (After all, as far as anonymous clubs go, it’s sexier than ham radio and less gender-confused than that one forum you totally didn’t wander into last Saturday night out of sheer boredom, no sir.)

What is Threat Quality?
Threat Quality is about living in the 21st century, how we affect it, and how it gets into us.
It’s whatever’s on our minds. We’re looking to deal with “big idea” writing: history, religion, sex, culture, the future, the past, genius, madness, Cobra Commander.

When is Threat Quality?
Monday through Thursday, one of our writers will post an essay. Fridays are devoted to short fiction pieces. Saturday is picture day. And Sunday? Sunday is the day of rest. AS THE LORD YOUR GOD COMMANDS IT.

Where is Threat Quality?
Right here.
Ah. That was an easy one. (Sister sites will be gathered to your right there, and hopefully that will expand, as everyone gets more comfortable adding independently to the page.)

Why is it called Threat Quality?

Because…
In these troubled times, you should think about the overall value and excellence of the world’s hazards, and not just the frequency.
Just because it’s dangerous doesn’t mean it can’t be astounding.
It sounds good.
It was available.
Really, however you rationalized being attracted to that purple-haired, gray-faced “human” at the bar last night? … The one with the neck tattoos? … That’s why.

Come on back throughout the week, and we’ll introduce the team to you.

-jkh


Who is Threat Quality?
The nerve structure of Threat Quality Press is currently built out of four cultural superspies, staking out different corners of the 21st century. Walking on the generational spiderwebs between print and internet. Born with MTV and relieved to have outlived it.
Ideally, our numbers will grow, as the shape of this thing becomes a little more clear to everyone, and more writers want to join up. (After all, as far as anonymous clubs go, it’s sexier than ham radio and less gender-confused than that one forum you totally didn’t wander into last Saturday night out of sheer boredom, no sir.)

What is Threat Quality?
Threat Quality is about living in the 21st century, how we affect it, and how it gets into us.
It’s whatever’s on our minds. We’re looking to deal with “big idea” writing: history, religion, sex, culture, the future, the past, genius, madness, Cobra Commander.

When is Threat Quality?
Monday through Thursday, one of our writers will post an essay. Fridays are devoted to short fiction pieces. Saturday is picture day. And Sunday? Sunday is the day of rest. AS THE LORD YOUR GOD COMMANDS IT.

Where is Threat Quality?
Right here.
Ah. That was an easy one. (Sister sites will be gathered to your right there, and hopefully that will expand, as everyone gets more comfortable adding independently to the page.)

Why is it called Threat Quality?

Because…
In these troubled times, you should think about the overall value and excellence of the world’s hazards, and not just the frequency.
Just because it’s dangerous doesn’t mean it can’t be astounding.
It sounds good.
It was available.
Really, however you rationalized being attracted to that purple-haired, gray-faced “human” at the bar last night? … The one with the neck tattoos? … That’s why.

Come on back throughout the week, and we’ll introduce the team to you.

-jkh

Threat Quality Begins In…

Posted: April 14, 2008 in Uncategorized