Where in the World is Lara Lakes Jordan? (TQP0055)
I haven’t seen the sun rise in a really long time. It’s strange, I often find myself awake at that hour and yet I hardly ever poke my head out the window to see it. I just face the ceililng of my bedroom with the vacant hope that I might be able to dream some of the rest of my night away. I remember all of my favorite sunrises, those phenomenal moments when you feel everything is just a little bit less real than real. I haven’t done that in a very long time.
Instead, I am poking around the Internet reading yahoo news articles. I just finished reading an official Associated Press article by a woman named Lara Lakes Jordan and I learned that members of foreign extremist groups are getting jobs as school bus drivers, but that the FBI is unconcerned with the situation.
I don’t understand how the FBI showing a lack of concern about the ethnicity of bus drivers counts as news. I have no concern about the ethnicity of bus drivers. If the FBI suggests that that might be unwise I might look into the matter a little bit. But when the FBI and I agree that something is not a concern I don’t understand what remains left to discuss.
Why would she publish this story? Is her objective to frighten people? If so, why? What does she have to gain? I think one of two things is possible. One is that she is involved in some kind of plot to undermine various institutions, such as the hiring policies that lead to getting jobs as school bus drivers. She publishes these technically true, albeit innuendo-laden, stories that get people murmuring about homeland security and terrorism and all kinds of civil unrest ensues. All the while Lara Lakes Jordan stands atop a dimly-lit balcony softly giggling from behind a martini glass.
Or, Lara Lakes Jordan is a member of a secret society and she needs to send coded messages to her agents in the field and her journalism career is just a front towards that end. Now, you may be asking “Why does she need to publish these messages where they will almost certainly fall into the hands of enemy forces instead of just mailing them to the agents’ homes?” Well, the only plausible answer to that question is that Lara Lakes Jordan has an irrepressible flair for the dramatic.
The sun is probably up by now. If I remember to look this up several days down the line, I might remember try to follow up on this Lara Lakes Jordan. Maybe I’ll try and scan her text for hidden phrases and clever double meanings. Or next time I will do something else completely. And then I will write about that.
July 17, 2008 at 6:37 pm
I am also not interested in the ethnicity of bus divers.
I am equally disinterested in:
-Preferred donuts of financial planners.
-Which color socks policemen wear.
-If the toll-collector on the Ben Franklin Bridge is gay.