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Ah, hell. No short fiction this week. Last night was the VP debate (full disclosure, it’s 11 PM as I write this), and horrible, horrible truth isn’t just stranger than fiction – it’s easily more interesting.

I waxed philosophical last week about having some respect for the sheer, crazy-assed gumption it takes to want to run for presidency, but I’ve got none of that tonight. I really hate hyperbolic reactions to politics - I think they bring down the level of discussion. GENERALLY. But tonight they’re useful, because they give me the room to say this: the mere fact that Sarah Palin was even up there was a mockery of what is already a fairly mockable democratic process.

Tomorrow, the news channels are going to tell you how Palin “held her own” or “came with something to say.” Or maybe that Biden was “boring” or “lecturing.” Or even, if they’re reeeallly feeling ballsy, they’ll stick with the “Biden was bullying Palin” talking point they came prepared with.

Based on the sheer bizarritude (TM patent pending) with which some of these pundits view reality (I just listened to some CRAZY-ASS Pat Buchanan commentary, for instance), I’ve decided, being as I have working eyes, ears, and brains, that I’m as qualified to analyze the debate as anyone else.

So let me tell you what I saw: A guy with a clear sense of what he knows and a good style for getting it across, kinda anal-retentive on spelling those out in numbered-list-form, whose main focus was on not saying anything ridiculous (his bit last week about “If FDR was watching TV during the Great Depression” did make me a little nervous). And across from him, I saw a woman constantly checking her notecards, being quite candid about the fact that she was not going to answer the questions the moderator put to her, who spewed out weak-ass platitudes that AT BEST barely touched on the actual topic, said her party would create a “team of mavericks” which is by definition of the overused word unlikely, actually WINKED at the audience on occasion, and actually used the phrase “Doggone it.”

I’ve consistently underestimated how much “Real America” values folksiness, but…who the hell says “Doggone it”? “Shucks” and “gosh” and “folks” I was willing to put up with, but breaking out ”doggone it” may have overplayed a clearly manipulative strategy. So in that vein, what’s scarier: the possibility that Palin just doesn’t know how to say “nuclear”? Or the possibility that she does, but knows the voters she wants prefer the “nukular” mispronunciation? It gives me the willies to think about it too much, doggone it.

We’re in the closing phases of the most historic election year of all historic election years, and I’m still absolutely terrified. A VP candidate just scolded a foreign country for not respecting women, yet supports virtually no women’s issues herself. And – let’s face facts - polling means absolutely fuck-all, no matter what they tell you.

If you were to raise a drink with me and ask for a toast, my favorite has always been, ”May we live in interesting times.” Never once did I imagine making a toast would bring it to life in such starkly frightening clarity. We damn sure live in interesting times, and I frickin’ hate it.

Bring me some boredom, please.

This entry was posted on October 3, 2008 at 1:00 am and is filed under Jeff Holland, Politics with tags crotchety ranting, Jeff Holland, News?, Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.