Ashleee Simpson and Pete Wentz are…people. They are famous for being…for doing…uhm. Some kind of music thing, I think? Pete Wentz is in a band, right? He must be in a band, only a band-guy could wear…whatever the hell he’s wearing in that picture.
Anyway, who gives a shit. They just had a baby that they named “Bronx Mowgli Wentz,” and there’s been a lot of speculation about where the fuck a name like that comes from–particularly the “Bronx” part, as Pete Wentz is from Illinois, and Ashleee Simpson is from Texas, so why are they naming their kid “Bronx”? Recently, Pete Wentz was all cryptic about the issue, like it’s a terrifying secret. How will we ever uncover the truth?
Fear not, gentle readers, as I have the answer for you.