Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz: BABY NAME ACTION!
Ashleee Simpson and Pete Wentz are…people. They are famous for being…for doing…uhm. Some kind of music thing, I think? Pete Wentz is in a band, right? He must be in a band, only a band-guy could wear…whatever the hell he’s wearing in that picture.
Anyway, who gives a shit. They just had a baby that they named “Bronx Mowgli Wentz,” and there’s been a lot of speculation about where the fuck a name like that comes from–particularly the “Bronx” part, as Pete Wentz is from Illinois, and Ashleee Simpson is from Texas, so why are they naming their kid “Bronx”? Recently, Pete Wentz was all cryptic about the issue, like it’s a terrifying secret. How will we ever uncover the truth?
Fear not, gentle readers, as I have the answer for you.
Using my great and powerful Science, I have divined the truth, and it can be found in the following two words: Disney. Cartoons.
“Mowgli” is from the Jungle Book, obviously.
“Bronx,” of course, is the giant monster-dog from the late-90s Dinsey animated series Gargoyles:
And who can blame them? Gargoyles was an awesome show. Remember the one where it turned out Puck and Owen were the same person, and you thought “hah, that came out of left field!” And then you realized that they had both been voiced by Star Trek: The Next Generation‘s Brent Spiner the entire time?!?!?!?