In recent days, a pleasantly dimwitted bigot named Carrie Prejean stunned the world by actually answering a question posed to her during the Miss USA pageant. She revealed a confusing theory regarding what she referred to as “opposite marriage,” something that some people seem to be having trouble with.
Fortunately, because I am a fiend for nomenclature, and because I KNOW ALL THAT IS, I have it within my power to elucidate this issue for you all, as well as to inform you about the many and varied other forms of marriage possible in this world, and in geometrically-dissimilar parallel worlds.
I shall do this.
At once.
