Archive for April, 2010

DY-NA-MITE! DY-NA-MITE! (and Discussion Question)

Posted in Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality with tags , , , on April 15, 2010 by braak

Highly recommended: Black Dynamite, a blaxploitation homage/parody that is utterly, utterly hilarious, while also being not half-bad as a movie itself. It will also confirm what you probably already knew: that everyone should have their own personalized theme song, to be played whenever they do something cool.

Starring Michael Jai White (who everyone should forget starred in Spawn), Mykelti Williamson, and an incredibly intrusive boom mike.

But it did raise this question for me: I know they look pretty badass and all, and whenever I get Liu Kang to use them in Mortal Kombat I do okay, but…are nunchucks really all that effective as weapons?

I mean, a stick attached by a chain or rope to another stick? It seems like, physics-wise, you wouldn’t be getting all the power you could, as opposed to just using, say, a stick (or two sticks, one in each hand? Double-clubbing action!)

Anyway: Discuss.

DY-NA-MITE! DY-NA-MITE!

Canadians Vs. Martians: CHOOSE NOW!

Posted in Jeff Holland, Threat Quality with tags , , , on April 14, 2010 by braak

Just back from a secret mission – a sexy secret mission – in Baltimore. Regular bloggery schedule will resume tomorrow, but for now, just…enjoy.

What the hell day is it today?

Posted in Threat Quality on April 13, 2010 by braak

I can’t remember.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream opens some time this week, possibly tomorrow.  One or most of you should probably go see it.

Along A Dark and Crooked Way–New Paradigms in 21st Century Musicology

Posted in Threat Quality on April 12, 2010 by braak

by Harcourt Albemarle, PhD
William Jefferson Clinton University
Department of Ethnomusicology
July 16, 2031

Abstract

The band Along a Dark and Crooked Way emerged from the 21st century music scene some time around 2010, and quickly became one of the most talked about, influential, and important musical experiments in history.  Dozens more followed them, trying to recreate their unique sound, and many dozens more than that rejected their influence over “indie” music.  Along a Dark and Crooked Way managed to accomplish this without ever releasing an album, a single, playing a concert or, as far as modern historians can determine, existing at all.

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In Case You Missed It

Posted in Threat Quality on April 9, 2010 by braak

The Insane Clown Posse has a flying observatory and certain questions about the nature and function of magnets.

Attention Michael Cera

Posted in Braak with tags , , on April 8, 2010 by braak

You’re going to be in Scott Pilgrim, and that’s great.  It’s going to be awesome, I’m looking forward to it.  I think your dry, understated, almost childish style of performance is well-suited to this, a comic-book movie about a 23-year-old slacker that sometimes dates high-school chicks.

But here’s the thing:  this is the last time.

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Why ‘Supernatural’ is Worth Watching

Posted in Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality with tags , , on April 8, 2010 by braak

I’m writing this up now because TNT will start airing “Supernatural” from the beginning starting on Friday, and I’m as shocked as anyone when I say: This is a show you guys should watch.

(It is possible that people have been watching this all along and I’ve been late to the game, but I haven’t met any so far.)

The short version is this: It made “Carry On, Wayward Son” by Kansas a thematically relevant song.

But there are other (presumably better) reasons.

Let’s see if I can explain how I came to love a show that, upon first hearing its premise, made me kind of want to punch the TV….

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‘Lost’: The Scottish Make TV Better

Posted in Jeff Holland, Threat Quality with tags , , on April 7, 2010 by braak

Last week, Lindelof and Cuse made a lot of comments about how “Happily Ever After” would “change the conversation” fans were having of the show, and effectively introduce the final act of the series.

Turns out? Yeah, it did. This may be a crazy theory – hang in there! – but…crap, the writers may, still, actually know what they’re doing.

After a few too many weeks of not getting any answers about the NEW big mystery – what do these two magical wizards have to do with the plot we’ve been following over the last few years? – and finding our faith wavering a little bit (I’ll admit to using the phrase “magical wizards” as a pejorative), tonight was a welcome step back into The Story as we understood it.

All it took was that Scottish guy we’ve all gotten so attached to, even though, pound for pound, he has gotten a hell of a lot less screen time than any of the others (no, not The Others, you know what I…argh, fricking show).  Read more »

Focusing on the positive

Posted in Jeff Holland, Threat Quality with tags , , on April 6, 2010 by braak

More later – I want to do a little talking about the Dr. Who premiere – but first, let’s address the issue of the lesbian teen in Mississippi who wasn’t allowed to go to the prom with her girlfriend.

In a move that shocks absolutely no one who holds a dim view of human nature, the school district apparently held a decoy prom for her, her girlfriend, and a few kids with learning disabilities. Meanwhile, across town, was the real prom.

Now! It is easy to say that this town is full of bigoted, childish, hillbilly dirt-eating chicken-fucking window-licking sons of bitches. It’s fun, too. But this is a site where we look for the positive (when not calling people idiots or, uh, window-licking sons of bitches), so here it is:

Throughout this experience, Constance McMillen has been given every incentive in the world to get the hell out of Bumfuck, MS. She has learned that this town holds nothing for her, does not support her and will never help her become the person she probably should.

I mean, every teenager thinks this of their hometown on some level, but McMillen has empirical proof. That doesn’t come along every day, y’know.

Meanwhile, voices of support all over the internet have shown her that there are many, many places where this level of Institutional Assholery do not exist.

And hopefully, when she graduates, she will pack a bag and run for those places as fast as her little legs can carry her.

Manufacturing the Aspects of Deity

Posted in Braak with tags , , on April 5, 2010 by braak

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