Naked, crazy and invisible: Halloween Movies 2010!
I haven’t followed my usual pattern this month, wherein I watch a lot of horror (or horror-ish) movies of varying quality and try to figure out whether they’re worth the time spent watching them. A couple reasons for this:
- The ones I didn’t like weren’t really that bad, just not all that interesting (there was no way for me to stretch “Picnic At Hanging Rock was pretty boring” out to the usual 1000 words)
- Even I couldn’t get through more than a half-hour of Roger Corman’s Frankenstein Unbound (though any movie where John Hurt delivers the line “I suppose I should begin with the time slips” with all the energy he’d bring to telling you about this bagel he had one Sunday deserves a shout-out, at least), and
- The ones I liked were fairly obvious (you don’t need me to tell you to go see Let the Right One In; although, you may need me to tell you the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake was a lot more involving than I thought it would be, so…there, done) and I wasn’t bringing anything new to the discussion.
But the more I sit here and think about it, the more I believe The Invisible Man was the most awesomely weird movie monster I’ve seen in quite some time. The reason: He isn’t just invisible. He’s jacked-up, naked, and crazy (and yes invisible).
He is, in fact, like a PCP addict with an extra edge.
Not enough attention is drawn to this, but invisible scientist Jack Griffin terrorizes a tiny town of drunk people with the power of his nudity. There’s an extended sequence where he chases people around his cramped hotel room, laughing gleefully and wearing only a shirt.
Now, we can’t see it, but what’s really happening is he’s chasing a bunch of people around with his invisible wanger flapping about. And giggling.
This Is A Little Weird.
Also weird? His master plans seem awfully strangle-centric. I know this can be attributed to the invisibility potion making him nuts, but every single plot he suggests veers casually into murder even when no murder is needed:
“An invisible man can rule the world. No one will see him come, no one will see him go.” OK, so far so good. How will we do it, again? “We’ll begin with a reign of terror, a few murders here and there, murders of great men, murders of little men, just to show we make no distinction.”
Oh. Wait, what?
(At another point he suggests blowing up a train by strangling the switchman. Dude, you’re invisible. Just…sneak up behind him and knock him out.)
So what we’ve got here is:
- A scientist given to injecting his body with strange chemicals without reading the labels, who is
- Prone to unnecessary and convoluted violence, and
- NUDE FOR MUCH OF THE TIME.
And if that doesn’t chill your very blood, then I don’t know what will.
(I still like him better than Kevin Bacon, at least. I mean, Claude Rains suggests a little rape here and there, but Kevin Bacon seems to have gone invisible primarily for the rape-potential. Creep. Why couldn’t you stick to casual strangling like Claude Rains?)