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Archive for November, 2010

More Thoughts on ‘Harry Potter 7.1′

Generally speaking, I liked Harry Potter 7.1. It did the job it was supposed to do – basically, get you ramped up for 7.2 next summer, when, y’know, the BIG stuff happens.

And it pretty faithfully adapted the book yet again, which in this case meant I nearly fell asleep during the whole wandering-around-in-the-woods-looking-for-horcruxes-and-kind-of-ripping-off-Lord-of-the-Rings section, but was roused back to consciousness once that was over.

But my problem with the movie series in general starts right there – they adapt the books faithfully, while missing that what makes for a good book doesn’t make for a good movie. Read more »

7 Comments »

Threat Quality Shoe Challenge: Redux

Posted in Braak with tags Braak, nike, sneaker power on November 28, 2010 by braak

As usual, your puny hu-man “reality” is insufficient to my needs. I have therefore decided to INVENT the solution to my shoe problem. Ladies and gentlemen, behold! The newest product from the Nike Shoe Corporation! I give you:

The Nike INVINCIBLE!

9 Comments »

Threat Quality Shoe Challenge!

Posted in Braak with tags Braak, shoes on November 25, 2010 by braak

Attention internets! I do not understand about things like “fashion,” or “shoes,” or “buying.” So, I am turning to you, electronic super-brain, for advice!

I need new shoes. I have some pretty specific requirements, and I want to know if any of you guys have ever heard of a shoe that is like this:

1) Kind of looks like a regular converse shoe:

It doesn’t have to look exactly like it, though, I’m okay. I just want something that’s kind of plain-looking, and doesn’t look like regular vinyl space-sneakers, like I’d have to pay a thousand dollars for. Also, if I could get something without some hideous logo on it, that’d be rad.

2) Warm. Regular converse shoes are cold as hell. I once had a pair of converse all-stars, and I wore them in New York. The cold concrete sucked the heat right out of my feet through the bottom of the shoes, I had to sit with my feet on the radiator for thirty minutes before I could feel them again.

3) Sturdy. I am hard on footwear (and clothes in general). And I hate buying shoes, so I don’t really want to have to get a new pair more than once every three or four years.

So, that’s the challenge: who knows where to get a good pair of shoes that are — plain, warm, and sturdy.

Thoughts?

8 Comments »

Chris Versus the Movies: Whit Anderson’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Posted in Threat Quality on November 23, 2010 by braak

By now you’ve probably heard, because it’s all over the internet, that Charles Roven is moving forward with a new movie of Buffy the Vampire Slayer — a movie the production of which will NOT include Joss Whedon, and which will be written by a credit-less actress that no one has ever heard of. Roven, in the press release, says things like “Whit [the writer] has a fresh new take,” and “There’s an active fanbase eagerly awaiting this movie.”

Probably this is just producer unspeak, because seriously, what was he going to say? ”Whit’s idea is basically exactly the same, only this time, I’LL be making all the money.” Or “There’s an active fanbase eagerly waiting to kick me in the nuts for doing this, but the cost-benefit-analysis suggests that they don’t matter enough to hurt our ticket sales.”?

10 Comments »

Have to Do Something, I Guess

Posted in Threat Quality on November 22, 2010 by braak

Eventually, we will figure out how to make the flashlights brain-powered and able to project giant fists.

http://lampprogram.wordpress.com/

2 Comments »

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Posted in Braak with tags Harry Potter, harry potter and the deathly hallows, what the hell am I even saying anymore? on November 20, 2010 by braak

This movie was okay. There’s a lot of stuff going on it, definitely. Also, there’s a long boring part in the middle/end, which corresponds to the long boring part in the book. So, at least it’s accurate.

The more I watch Harry Potter, though, the more frustrated I get that he isn’t any good at anything. For instance: there’s a part where Hermione is putting a spell up around their campsite, right? And Harry Potter walks up to her and says, “What are you doing?”

33 Comments »

TQP at Philcon!

Posted in Threat Quality on November 19, 2010 by braak

As we speak, Mr. Braak is setting up a table at Philcon, the Philadelphia Science Fiction Society’s annual gathering, hocking our wares and slowly building the empire.

(A perfect storm of dreaded deadline doom, seasonal part-time job, dogsitting, and traditional Thanksgiving-with-friends is keeping me away this year.)

Anyhow, if you’re in the area, stop by and say hello. And buy a book. Or save some gas and buy a book using the links to the right!

5 Marvel Comics Movies Waiting To Happen

Posted in Action Movies, comic books, Jeff Holland, Threat Quality with tags Black Panther, Dr. Strange, Iron Fist, Jeff Holland, Luke Cage, Marvel Movies, Moon Knight, Threat Quality on November 18, 2010 by braak

Now that the next slate of Summer Superhero Movies are getting their early media attention (the Captain America cover story in Entertainment Weekly; Green Lantern‘s trailer popping up the same day Ryan Reynolds was announced as People’s Sexiest Man, and why don’t I just throw the link to that Thor sizzle-reel in here too), the time has come to turn back to an obvious question:

Who the hell else is there to make into a movie?

This may be an irrelevant question in the near future, what with talk of David E. Kelley taking the reigns of a Wonder Woman series and Guillermo del Toro working on a Hulk show. The future of the superhero in other media may well be TV. Read more »

6 Comments »

Still Betasked

Posted in Braak with tags Braak, cyberpunk, hipsters, science fiction on November 17, 2010 by braak

Plus, it turns out that people pay money, sometimes, for the short critical writing that I like to do, so I am trying to sell some of it. We’ll see how that goes!

In the meantime, check out this:

Paul diFillipo interviews Thomas M. Disch

Thomas M. Disch, now the late Thomas M. Disch, was a prolific science fiction, fantasy, and horror writer, in addition to being a poet and, perhaps most interestingly, a rigorous historian in the subject of SF literature.

The thing about ‘meh’

Posted in Jeff Holland, Threat Quality with tags Jeff Holland, linguistics of mockery, Meh, Threat Quality on November 16, 2010 by braak

Guys, remember card catalogs?!

Now, as with most half-words the internet has latched onto, it gets a bit overused. That’s okay – the internet is vast and chatty, and churns out new words at an alarming rate. Some are bound to catch on.

But if you’re using “meh” as part of a larger critique? You are misusing the word. Well. “Word.”

Anyway, we can fix this. Read more »