Archive for January, 2012

Seven Swords of Shaolin

Posted: January 30, 2012 in Braak

Seven Swords of Shaolin is an epic, kung fu RPG for the…uh, let’s say the XBox and the PS3.  It comes with a “sword” — a plastic weapon that has a rumble pack and a bunch of gyroscopes and what not to keep track of its position.  In the game, you take the part of Zhou Xuan-Yun, a young martial artist who, in his quest to avenge his murdered brother, travels throughout medieval China to learn the secrets of the sword.

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Dear The Department of Justice,

I know you’re probably a little scared, learning these Anonymous guys figured out your password was actually just “123456”. And if this whole SOPA business has shown us anything, it’s that you guys are pretty baffled by the internet in general.

And also you don’t realize that when you say you’re not a “nerd,” what you mean is “I don’t know where the IT department is located.”

So I imagine now that you’re on the brink of deciding that Anonymous is a group of cyber-terrorists (which is totally what you’re going to call them, because admittedly that does sound cooler than “internet-surrectionists”). And you’re wondering just what it is they want.

I would suggest you start by watching the 1995 Modern Classic, Hackers. You will find the answer there.  (more…)

Reviews on the new J.J. Abrams/whoever-else-ends-up-being-in-charge-of-the-story series Alcatraz have been mixed-to-positive. Most have commented on its procedural structure, as though that’s a bad thing in and of itself, but by and large the reviews feel like an unjustified pre-judgment on the show now that Lost is done with.

These reviews seem to forget 1) that Abrams’ name was also attached to the completely (and hey, justly) forgotten Undercovers, 2) seriously, the guy’s a producer, he’s not Aaron Sorkin writing these things by his lonesome (meaning, we don’t really have room to judge Alcatraz the same way we could all laugh at Studio 60), and 3) Every criticism lobbed at Alcatraz seems to echo all the criticisms thrown at Fringe when that one first showed up.  (more…)

A friend of mine put this image up on Facebook:

I thought it was kind of funny, you know, and then someone responded with “So, we should just pray for world peace and nothing else?” in a way that seemed to me (purely delusory, of course, since there’s no way to establish tone or feeling on the internet) a kind of a snotty way, and I started thinking about it, and now I’m going to write about it.

What follows is a lengthy discussion of Christian theology, so I guess everyone but Moff and Carl can check out and come back tomorrow, when maybe Holland will write about Iron Man or something.

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Jamie Dwyer has kept her sister, Shoshannah, hidden from the rest of their family for more than ten years.  But when the family’s destructive supernatural legacy invades the life they’ve built for themselves, Jamie has no choice but to turn to back to her family and embroil her sister in their milennia-long secret war.  If Shoshannah is going to survive, she’ll have to become a part of…

…the Cabal.

Starring (apparently) Rosario Dawson and Natalie Morales.  Special appearance by Idris Elba as Ulysses Duvalier.

Coming this Fall to SyFy.

(Good job on that poster, Casey, that is crazy awesome)

Remember how after The Incredibles came out, the people making Fantastic Four had to scramble to rewrite their third act because Brad Bird had basically trumped everything they’d been doing?*

Well, it turns out by making Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, he’s basically screwed the next James Bond movie. Sorry, Skyfall, you’re gonna have to make Daniel Craig jump off of some pretty tall and unusual things now to compete.

It’s weird to praise this as the “best” Mission Impossible movie because that implies a level of quality control that’s not really existent in the franchise. Because there’s nothing about it that actually MAKES a franchise, despite the recognizable title and consistent lead actor.

Franchise isn’t the right word, then. Brand name. Anyway, even the presence of Tom Cruise isn’t required for it to be a Mission Impossible movie. If fortunes had turned a different way, Ving Rhames might be the headliner on this thing.  (more…)

The second part of our Short Fiction Friday Event, brought to you by TQP contributor Ryan Crutchfield. Part One can be found here, probably read that one first.
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