Archive for June, 2012

Fashion Trends

Posted: June 26, 2012 in Threat Quality

Whuuuut.  Just playing here.

Another one.  I wish I could get that tie-tack in lacquered black, but maybe the thing to do would just be to paint it.

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Dramaturgery: Prometheus

Posted: June 21, 2012 in Threat Quality

Hmmm, let me think about this.  Prometheus is a bit more challenging than The Avengers, because The Avengers was a pretty solid movie that just wandered around in the middle, but Prometheus is kind of just a complete mess.  It sort of struggles as a mash-up of knock-offs of 2001, only without the real genuine sense of wonder, and At the Mountains of Madness, only without the unflinching nihilism.  (Which suggests something interesting:  2001 works by keeping its Big Questions secret; At the Mountains of Madness works because when it asks Big Questions, the answer is a resounding NO.)

Also, there’s a lot in this movie that’s just pretty incomprehensibly dumb.

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Unemployed? Disenfranchised? Easily cowed? Time to join the winning team!

Sure, it may LOOK like I, Victor Von Doom, Grand Potentate and Undisputed (UNDISPUTED, YOU HEAR ME KRISTOFF?!) Ruler of the paradise nation of Latveria, have it all under my firm but benevolent control … but DOOM is only one man (and an army of Loyal DOOMbots, of course).

That is where you come in, jobseeker! DOOM is always on the lookout for skilled labor lackeys and unskilled labor peons alike, ready to do his bidding, die for his causes, and do some light typing and other administrative work.

Not sure you have the right experience? Don’t worry, we train on the job. All that’s required is a passion for serving DOOM, and of course, a burning hatred of Richards.  (more…)

BWOOOOOOOOOONG

So you may have heard that Prometheus is Not Very Good. But you may have also heard that it is Kind Of Beautiful To Look At, or maybe you heard that Marc Streitenfeld wrote a really nice score.

BWOOOOOOOOOONG

Or you keep hearing that noise. It…it gets in your head.  (more…)

I don’t get to play a lot of video games. While I enjoy them, I’m not all that good at them, I can’t afford them until they’ve been on a Gamestop shelf for over a year, and despite my REPEATED LETTERS, the vast majority of them don’t have Batman in them.

To put it into perspective: I JUST learned that you can show naked boobs in a game. I learned this by finally getting around to playing God of War. Which came out in 2005. When this happened, I reflexively looked around to make sure my mom hadn’t taken that moment to visit my apartment.

All of this is to say, I’m not what you’d consider an “expert” on video games.

But I’m still pretty sure that an announcement like this, regarding the Lara Croft: Tomb Raider reboot, is about the dumbest, shittiest, creepiest, lousiest thing that’s ever been announced in video games. Says executive producer Ron Rosenberg:

She’ll get taken prisoner by island scavengers. And then, Rosenberg says, those scavengers will try to rape her.  (more…)

Comics! You can buy them online now.

Now that I’ve finally gotten my Nook operating the way it needs to (which is to say, not how Barnes & Noble wants me to), I’ve had full access to the Comixology site, which means I’ve been able to really use it to its full potential.

By this, I mean, I have actually spent money on a Rob Liefeld comic out of morbid curiosity.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve grown more and more fascinated by the guy. He exists in this strange bubble, wherein his art has remained at exactly the same skill level despite 25 years as a working artist.

Seriously. This is art from New Mutants in 1990:

Last year he was hired to do art chores on the rebooted Hawk & Dove title. Here is that:  (more…)