So you may have heard that Prometheus is Not Very Good. But you may have also heard that it is Kind Of Beautiful To Look At, or maybe you heard that Marc Streitenfeld wrote a really nice score.
Or you keep hearing that noise. It…it gets in your head.
I’m not going to get into a whole thing here, because we’ve got some more on that coming up.
But the short version is: nothing anybody does in this movie makes any sense (scientific method, in the future, is apparently “I’m going to stick my hand in it and see what happens”), the aliens’ motivations are pretty hard to parse (which…look, I’m even willing to write that off because they’re alien super god men, so who am I to judge what they do even though it seems pretty baffling and inefficient all around), and even the heroes’ space ship doesn’t quite track (why would you have an escape ship that you have to jettison yourself out to?).
Even complimenting the pacing is a bit loaded, because the pacing is pretty much exactly the same as the first Alien movie. Which is much, much better, just so we’re clear.
Really, just thinking about the whole thing makes you mad the more you do it.
But I think I’m going to try an experiment when it comes out on DVD, which is: turn the sound off, play the score in the CD player, and watch the events unfold as if they’re a nightmare.
It’s not as if there’s much in the way of great dialogue. You’ll miss out on Idris Elba’s laconic drawl, and Michael Fassbender’s deceptively soothing robot-speak. But you don’t have to listen to Noomi Rapace and Dr. Broseph’s freshman dormroom-level philosophizing, so I’d call it a wash.
But by watching it as a nightmare Ridley Scott had, which he then made into a movie, you can wave off every single thing that doesn’t make sense as dream logic (and if you need to know just how much doesn’t make sense, here is a video you should watch).
“You’re outrunning a giant wheel that’s about to crush you. You keep running, and running, but you can’t get away from it – and you can’t turn right or left to get out of its path.”
That shit doesn’t make any logical sense if you saw that in real life. But it really does sound like something you could imagine happening in a nightmare.