Released in the United States as John Carter, even though he is definitely of Mars. This is a pretty good movie, about a Civil War veteran who, via some kind of magical scientific process, is transported to Mars, where he gains the power of LEAPING, and uses it to fight some giant green Martians, and also Sab Than, the ruler of a city that wanders across the Martian desert preying on smaller, weaker cities.
Archive for the reviews Category
JOHN CARTER OF MARS YOU PUNK SUCKERS!
Posted in Braak, movies, reviews, Threat Quality with tags Braak, john carter, movie reivews, Movies on March 2, 2012 by braakDave Has Some Thoughts About The Hunger Games
Posted in Dave!, reviews with tags books, dave braak, reviews, the hunger games on February 22, 2012 by braak[A review from first-time TQP contributor Dave Braak, who is not the same person as regular braak, who is me. -- braak]
I just finished reading Suzanne Collins’ The Hunger Games. As with many stories, some parts were good, and some parts were not so good. I would like to talk about what it was about, and what I think it should have been about; about what it focused on, and what would have made for a more compelling focus. There are some SPOILERS AHEAD, and if you would rather read the book yourself, and would prefer it not to be SPOILED, please do not continue.
Read more »
A List of Things That Have Not Appeared in Ghost Rider Movies
Posted in Braak, comic books, reviews with tags Braak, Ghost Rider, ghost rider spirit of vengeance on February 21, 2012 by braakAll of these things have not appeared in either Ghost Rider, or Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance.
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Posted in Braak, comic books, reviews, Threat Quality with tags Braak, Ghost Rider, ghost rider spirit of vengeance on February 21, 2012 by braakHolland has already said some things, and they are all true, and basically comprehensive, but I wanted to flip out about a couple other things also. Actually, really I want to just flip out some MORE about the things that he already said.
We Have Seen ‘Ghost Rider 2′ and Now You Must Feel Our Hate
Posted in Action Movies, comic books, Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality with tags Ghost Rider, Jeff Holland, Spirit of Vengeance, Threat Quality on February 21, 2012 by braakHaaaboy. Ghost Rider 2. OK, let’s just get into this, with a series of thoughts on it, since I don’t feel it’s worth a whole review-type post.
To say Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is better than its predecessor (which the movie only barely concedes actually happened – it even rejiggers the scene where Johnny Blaze sells his soul so that it looks…well, so it looks more like if Neveldine/Taylor had done the first film featuring a guy who is not Peter Fonda Satan) isn’t just damning with faint praise. It’s implying that the film doesn’t have a whole host of its own problems, so I guess if GR1 got a 1 out of 5, then GR2 gets a 1.5 out of 5.
That’s because the couple things it does right ARE massive improvements over the first film, but even that’s debatable (in that Braak and I debated over whether or not they were actually better).
Non-arguable point 1: Setting the film on the desolate, barren roads of Somewhere In Eastern Europe is much closer to the spirit of the character than having him drive through Dallas or Houston or wherever the first one was set, and having Ghost Rider deal with city cops, which is just kinda stupid. Read more »
The Woman in Black, or: Harry Potter Versus a Scary Ghost
Posted in Braak, crotchety ranting, poetics, reviews with tags Braak, daniel radcliffe, the woman in black, theater, verisimilitude on February 13, 2012 by braak
Today I am here to talk to you about The Woman in Black, and just so we’re clear here: I am not going to “review” The Woman in Black, like I’m Roger Ebert and I’m trying to help you decide how to spend a Saturday night. A review like that is going to say things like, “I won’t give too much away, but…” I am going to give everything away. If you do not want the movie “spoiled” for you, then stop reading at once. Maybe get back to work? It’s the middle of the day, you probably have some kind of job you should be doing.
Anyway, The Woman in Black.
Scattered Thoughts on ‘Alcatraz’
Posted in Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality with tags Alcatraz, Brimstone, Fringe, Jeff Holland, Jorge Garcia, Karen Sisco, Lost, Threat Quality on January 19, 2012 by braak
Reviews on the new J.J. Abrams/whoever-else-ends-up-being-in-charge-of-the-story series Alcatraz have been mixed-to-positive. Most have commented on its procedural structure, as though that’s a bad thing in and of itself, but by and large the reviews feel like an unjustified pre-judgment on the show now that Lost is done with.
These reviews seem to forget 1) that Abrams’ name was also attached to the completely (and hey, justly) forgotten Undercovers, 2) seriously, the guy’s a producer, he’s not Aaron Sorkin writing these things by his lonesome (meaning, we don’t really have room to judge Alcatraz the same way we could all laugh at Studio 60), and 3) Every criticism lobbed at Alcatraz seems to echo all the criticisms thrown at Fringe when that one first showed up. Read more »
Ghost Protocol: The Best Mission Impossible Since That Last One You Forgot About
Posted in Action Movies, Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality with tags Jeff Holland, Mission Impossible 4, Mission impossible: Ghost Protocol, Threat Quality on January 9, 2012 by braak
Remember how after The Incredibles came out, the people making Fantastic Four had to scramble to rewrite their third act because Brad Bird had basically trumped everything they’d been doing?*
Well, it turns out by making Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, he’s basically screwed the next James Bond movie. Sorry, Skyfall, you’re gonna have to make Daniel Craig jump off of some pretty tall and unusual things now to compete.
It’s weird to praise this as the “best” Mission Impossible movie because that implies a level of quality control that’s not really existent in the franchise. Because there’s nothing about it that actually MAKES a franchise, despite the recognizable title and consistent lead actor.
Franchise isn’t the right word, then. Brand name. Anyway, even the presence of Tom Cruise isn’t required for it to be a Mission Impossible movie. If fortunes had turned a different way, Ving Rhames might be the headliner on this thing. Read more »
On Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II (and yes I know this is not a new game)
Posted in Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality with tags Jeff Holland, Personal Continuity, star wars, The Force Unleashed II, Threat Quality on January 6, 2012 by braakSince friend of Threat Quality Matt Burns was dear enough to provide me with a Playstation 3, I’ve been catching up on all sorts of things, like making use of Netflix streaming in a way that makes more sense than plugging a laptop into a TV, 
realizing I can copy videos to its hard drive via a flashdrive, and yes, playing video games that all my friends are done with and see fit to lend me.
Which means I finally got around to Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II, a game that is completely inessential and yet designed exactly for me in mind. Those video game design degree grads did an awesome job here.
And by me, I mean the personal-continuity-obsessive who would also like there to be enough cheat codes that I don’t have to struggle.
I quite liked the first SW:TFU, especially since I played it on the Wii, which at the time was doing its best to provide games where you use the controls as a virtual sword (see also: Red Steel II), and so could wave the wand around and make the lightsaber noises with my mouth even though the sound effects were perfectly audible. And the cheat codes were readily available, which meant I could play the first time through with massive force powers and any costume I pleased. Read more »
Comics Primer: Iron Man
Posted in Action Movies, comic books, Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality with tags Armor Wars, Avengers, Civil War, Comics primer, Iron Man, Jeff Holland, Threat Quality on December 19, 2011 by braakAnother in our occasional series, detailing potential “first reads” for comic book newbies or lapsed readers whose interest in a certain character have been piqued by a movie or TV show or interesting ad 
campaign or what have you. The focus is on easily obtained paperback collections that can be purchased for a minimum of fuss through their local comics shop or Amazon, rather than have to dig around back-issue bins at random. And of course, keep in mind these are just opinions – though opinions based on a LOT of comic book reading, so pretty well-founded opinions. OK? Let’s get started!
The Character: Iron Man
Star of a popular movie, a less popular movie, a pretty good cartoon show (as well as a couple of not-so-good cartoon shows), a jazzy theme song, and the most fan-favorite part of a trailer for an upcoming movie that people are hoping like hell is at least okay, Iron Man has been all over pop culture in the last few years – indeed, you could even say SPANNING DECADES (if your thing is boldness, more than accuracy – and if so, hey, you must lead an exciting life, let’s get you some comics!).
Where to Start
There are actually some pretty great places to start reading Iron Man, and get the general idea of what makes the character interesting and fun, as well as flawed and occasionally troubling. It just depends on your ability to ignore some bellbottoms, wide collars and curly hair. Read more »
