Holland has already said some things, and they are all true, and basically comprehensive, but I wanted to flip out about a couple other things also. Actually, really I want to just flip out some MORE about the things that he already said.
Archive for the Threat Quality Category
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
Posted in Braak, comic books, reviews, Threat Quality with tags Braak, Ghost Rider, ghost rider spirit of vengeance on February 21, 2012 by braakWe Have Seen ‘Ghost Rider 2′ and Now You Must Feel Our Hate
Posted in Action Movies, comic books, Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality with tags Ghost Rider, Jeff Holland, Spirit of Vengeance, Threat Quality on February 21, 2012 by braakHaaaboy. Ghost Rider 2. OK, let’s just get into this, with a series of thoughts on it, since I don’t feel it’s worth a whole review-type post.
To say Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is better than its predecessor (which the movie only barely concedes actually happened – it even rejiggers the scene where Johnny Blaze sells his soul so that it looks…well, so it looks more like if Neveldine/Taylor had done the first film featuring a guy who is not Peter Fonda Satan) isn’t just damning with faint praise. It’s implying that the film doesn’t have a whole host of its own problems, so I guess if GR1 got a 1 out of 5, then GR2 gets a 1.5 out of 5.
That’s because the couple things it does right ARE massive improvements over the first film, but even that’s debatable (in that Braak and I debated over whether or not they were actually better).
Non-arguable point 1: Setting the film on the desolate, barren roads of Somewhere In Eastern Europe is much closer to the spirit of the character than having him drive through Dallas or Houston or wherever the first one was set, and having Ghost Rider deal with city cops, which is just kinda stupid. Read more »
Ghost Rider’s Satan: Best Dad Ever?
Posted in Action Movies, comic books, Jeff Holland, Threat Quality with tags Ghost Rider, Jeff Holland, Peter Fonda, Threat Quality on February 20, 2012 by braak
In preparation for tonight’s surely 100% positive viewing of Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, I decided to sit myself down and watch 2007’s Ghost Rider, just to make sure there weren’t any nuances of the narrative that I’d failed to notice last time.
I ALSO decided to skip past the prologue, wherein a young man learns his agent thinks he looks like a young Nicolas Cage enjoys a carefree life in the carnival, and also fast-forward past any moments that aren’t necessary to the plot – which meant pretty much every scene involving Eva Mendez and Donal Logue.
This meant I watched a 45-minute cut of Ghost Rider the other night. And…it still wasn’t all that good. Read more »
Gullibility, abortionplexes and the skinwich
Posted in crotchety ranting, Jeff Holland, Politics, Threat Quality with tags Gullibility, Jeff Holland, KFC Double-Down, The Onion Abortionplex, Threat Quality on February 17, 2012 by braak
The recent news that a Louisiana congressman posted the Onion “Abortionplex” story to his Facebook page, believing it to be an actual thing that Planned Parenthood is up to, rankled me a little.
I mean, it’s one thing for your great aunt to forward a story outraged over the wasteful spending of Obama’s pledge to give everyone a parrot, but when this is the level of critical thinking employed by an elected member of government, that’s quite another thing.
Please note: Louisiana currently ranks 47th in education. So it does stand to reason that even their elected officials are coming from a background of some of the worst education in the country. Read more »
‘Before Watchmen’ – Holland’s Take
Posted in comic books, Jeff Holland, Threat Quality with tags Before Watchmen, Jeff Holland, Scott Pilgrim, Threat Quality on February 8, 2012 by braak
I had written a three-pager about the announcement that DC was moving ahead with prequels to Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ classic work, but honestly, there’s no sense bloviating about it.
Not about Alan Moore’s relative moral high ground when so much of his work is predicated on previously-existing characters himself, whether DC’s within its rights, as owner of the copyright, to publish what they damn please since they are in the business of making money, what Jack Kirby has to do with any of this, the ins-and-outs of creator-ownership contracts, or…any of it, really.
All this boils down to is: Don’t buy it. See? See how simple it all is? Read more »
This Week in Product Placement
Posted in Threat Quality with tags Fringe, Jeff Holland, Nissan Leaf, product placement, Threat Quality on February 7, 2012 by braak
Sometimes I wonder if TV’s just getting a little better at not cramming product placement quite so obviously as it felt like last year.
Though that might just be because now that 24’s not extolling the astonishing severed-thumb-print-scanning functions of the average Sprint phone, I’m just not getting as much of it in a given week.
So it’s a good thing I still watch Fringe.
Last year, if you’ll recall, it was the Clutch-Cargo-esque drama-tisement for the Sprint Qik, a hilariously awkward videophone feature that seems to have been completely ignored by smartphone owners.
This year…oh boy. It was at once far more subtle, and somehow even more ludicrous. On the SURFACE, at least. Read more »
What the Cyber-Terrorists Want
Posted in Jeff Holland, Threat Quality with tags Anonymous attack, Hackers, Jeff Holland, Threat Quality on January 20, 2012 by braakDear The Department of Justice,
I know you’re probably a little scared, learning these Anonymous guys figured out your password was actually just “123456”. And if this whole SOPA business has shown us anything, it’s that you guys are pretty baffled by the internet in general.
And also you don’t realize that when you say you’re not a “nerd,” what you mean is “I don’t know where the IT department is located.”
So I imagine now that you’re on the brink of deciding that Anonymous is a group of cyber-terrorists (which is totally what you’re going to call them, because admittedly that does sound cooler than “internet-surrectionists”). And you’re wondering just what it is they want.
I would suggest you start by watching the 1995 Modern Classic, Hackers. You will find the answer there. Read more »
Scattered Thoughts on ‘Alcatraz’
Posted in Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality with tags Alcatraz, Brimstone, Fringe, Jeff Holland, Jorge Garcia, Karen Sisco, Lost, Threat Quality on January 19, 2012 by braak
Reviews on the new J.J. Abrams/whoever-else-ends-up-being-in-charge-of-the-story series Alcatraz have been mixed-to-positive. Most have commented on its procedural structure, as though that’s a bad thing in and of itself, but by and large the reviews feel like an unjustified pre-judgment on the show now that Lost is done with.
These reviews seem to forget 1) that Abrams’ name was also attached to the completely (and hey, justly) forgotten Undercovers, 2) seriously, the guy’s a producer, he’s not Aaron Sorkin writing these things by his lonesome (meaning, we don’t really have room to judge Alcatraz the same way we could all laugh at Studio 60), and 3) Every criticism lobbed at Alcatraz seems to echo all the criticisms thrown at Fringe when that one first showed up. Read more »
Ghost Protocol: The Best Mission Impossible Since That Last One You Forgot About
Posted in Action Movies, Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality with tags Jeff Holland, Mission Impossible 4, Mission impossible: Ghost Protocol, Threat Quality on January 9, 2012 by braak
Remember how after The Incredibles came out, the people making Fantastic Four had to scramble to rewrite their third act because Brad Bird had basically trumped everything they’d been doing?*
Well, it turns out by making Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, he’s basically screwed the next James Bond movie. Sorry, Skyfall, you’re gonna have to make Daniel Craig jump off of some pretty tall and unusual things now to compete.
It’s weird to praise this as the “best” Mission Impossible movie because that implies a level of quality control that’s not really existent in the franchise. Because there’s nothing about it that actually MAKES a franchise, despite the recognizable title and consistent lead actor.
Franchise isn’t the right word, then. Brand name. Anyway, even the presence of Tom Cruise isn’t required for it to be a Mission Impossible movie. If fortunes had turned a different way, Ving Rhames might be the headliner on this thing. Read more »
Short Fiction Friday: Panther Mine (Part 1)
Posted in Ryan Crutchfield, Short Fiction, Short Fiction Friday, Threat Quality with tags Ryan Crutchfield, Short Fiction on January 6, 2012 by braakToday’s Short Fiction Friday even is brought to you by TQP contributor Ryan Crutchfield. It’s in two parts, enjoy them in order or out of order, at your discretion. (But “in order” is best.)
PANTHER MINE
They found the cemetery shortly after lunch, exactly where it was not supposed to be. It was slung low and wide across the southern shadowed side of the small hill that they stood upon, stretching out of sight down into the murky edges where the forest became the swamp. The headstones where scattered like dominoes after a knife fight and a number of them were broken or knocked over. The cemetery looked ancient.
Read more »
