Archive for the ‘Threat Quality’ Category

There’s two of everyone on ‘Arrow’

Posted: February 21, 2013 in Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality
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Arrow 1As Arrow chugs along, banging through the lackluster first few episodes to – where it is now – a pretty solid back-half of a season that’s put some interesting long-term stories into play, some things are becoming clear.

OK, some things other than “Man, they are not spending a lot of money on this show” and “Vigilantes don’t need peripheral vision.”

Perhaps most satisfying is the show actually displaying some interest in examining and reassessing Oliver Queen’s tendency to murder the hell out of people, and how that lines up with his own slowly evolving morality. Throughout the season, he has moved further away from his Island Trauma, received a humbling pummeling at the hands of his buddy’s Barely-Secretly-Evil-Father, and started broadening his mission to include things other than threatening rich people and telling them how disappointed in them he is.

So the show’s getting to be solidly entertaining while also addressing some larger concerns I’ve had, which means I feel more comfortable addressing smaller things the show’s NOT doing well. By which I mean, any time it mentions something from a DC comic.

It wants SO BADLY to play in the DC sandbox but give the concepts a veneer of Dark Knight-on-a-budget “realism,” and as a result kinda fails at both. And the show knows this! Why else would it keep shouting DO-OVER! so often?  (more…)

Oh my: J.J. Abrams’ ‘Superman’ script

Posted: February 20, 2013 in Action Movies, Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality
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I may not agree with the internet’s current collective conclusion that Man of Steel will be terrible for some reason (apparently “At one point Clark Kent has a beard” is just too “out-there”?). But I can see why people would be at least very guarded in their enthusiasm.

Because let’s face it, this is still Warner Bros., the company that heard Brian Singer pitch a sequel to a 30-year-old movie where Superman doesn’t really do anything other than lift heavy things, Superman Flyby1bail on Lex Luthor’s court date letting him to go free, and stalk the ex-girlfriend he left pregnant five years ago. They heard that pitch and said, “Of COURSE that is the movie we should be making.”

And then there’s the news that the announced Justice League movie is going back to the drawing board, for the silly little reason that no director will sign onto it because the script is some kind of abomination.

(I don’t even know how that could be – I mean, we TOLD them how to make a perfectly good Justice League movie. It’s like they didn’t even listen!)

Also not helping: the possible Kickstarter-funded documentary reminding everyone of every ridiculous, wrong-headed idea for Tim Burton’s Superman Lives project that flamed out just before America could get a load of Nicolas Cage in a rubber electro-suit and laugh along with Braniac’s sassy gay robot sidekick.

So look, I get it. The odds of a Really Good Superman movie are, at this point, not terribly great. But even if it’s not a great movie – if it does not even surpass Superman Returns somehow – it is still not the biggest misfire we could get.

For that, we can look to J.J. Abrams’ script for Superman: Flyby.   (more…)

The three best comics of 2012, including the one that isn’t

Posted: February 12, 2013 in comic books, Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality
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One of my new year’s resolutions: To read fewer bad comics. I mean, to stop engaging shit like Detective Comics or JMS’s agonizing Superman: Earth One books. Seriously, life is too short to hate-read.

(…Is what I’ve told myself, but then, I do have that next edition of Geoff Johns’ utterly, hilariously terrible Justice League comic on hold at the library, so. Pobody’s Nerfect.)Saga

But this column is not about bad comics. It is, in fact, about two of the best comics produced in 2012 – and possibly in years, maybe decades, maybe…look, they’re really good.

And also one other comic that I’m gonna need a little help with.

First things first. Everything you’ve heard is true: Saga, by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples, is one of the best comics I’ve ever read. Here, I’ll sell it for you: “Star Wars, starring two brand-new parents.”  (more…)

Hawaii Five-0 and the Case of the Missed Opportunity

Posted: January 21, 2013 in Threat Quality
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So, recently you probably heard about this episode of Hawaii Five-0 (I watch Hawaii Five-0 sometimes, for a number of terrible reasons.  Among them: my regular TV only gets three network TV channels; I never remember when Hawaii Five-0 is on so it keeps taking me by surprise; Grace Park is hot to death.  I guess that last reason is an okay reason), where they had the audience text in who they thought the murderer was.  The writers wrote THREE DIFFERENT ENDINGS, and the ending you voted on would be the one that happened!  It’s like a choose your own adventure novel, except with Scott Caan infringing on the civil rights of murder suspects.

Here is the thing.  I think this is not a bad idea.

(more…)

Superior Spider-Man: Well, This Is Gonna Be Weird

Posted: January 15, 2013 in comic books, Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality
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Superior_spiderman_1Here is the thing about Spider-Man: It’s pretty easy to find good Spider-Man comics that fit the platonic ideal of Spider-Man (“With great power comes great responsibility”+ Peter Parker’s crappy luck + girl problems + goofy super-villains + wisecracks = Standard-Issue Spider-Man Story).

The problem comes when writers decide to break out of the mold and try something a little different than what Spider-Man’s used to. Sometimes you get an undisputed classic (“Kraven’s Last Hunt,” which is fricking amazing, but feels almost 0% like a “standard” Spidey story).

A lot more often, that’s when you get things like The Clone Saga, where Peter’s entire LIFE was (for a while) a lie, and he was fighting weird mystical cults and magic people with backstories-to-be-filled-in-later, and …

Yo, I was there. Peter Parker got so stressed over that story he backhanded pregnant Mary Jane and even decided not to even be Peter Parker for a while, “Only The SPIDER!”  (more…)

DC Comics New 52 COLLECTED Reviews – Demon Knights, Frankenstein, Suicide Squad and Stormwatch

Posted: January 11, 2013 in comic books, Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality
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Hm. How embarrassing – I’d assumed I’d posted this months ago.

Anyway, I intend to get back to more timely reviewing – I really want to talk about Saga, and Hawkeye, and Superior Spider-Man – but before we do, I should probably tell you guys about some more DC New 52 collections I’ve read and possibly enjoyed.

This time around, we’re going to look at some of the edgy/weird titles, and this time, I’m pretty well shocked to find two books I really really liked. Positive reviews! This will probably not be a trend.

Demon Knights Vol. 1: Seven Against The Dark

Demon Knights manages to pull off in six issues, using many of the same ingredients, everything that Justice League failed at. It’s a team book with some recognizable characters thrown together by chance, many with conflicting motivations or attitudes, each with a particular skill set, tasked with defending against an invading horde, finding a mission and reason to stay together after the initial events.

But unlike Justice League, it does so by being exciting, good-humored, and intriguing in its teases of future developments and possible betrayals. And unlike Jim Lee’s shiny and shallow art style where poses trump storytelling, Diogenes Neves (who improves with each chapter) focuses a lot of attention on the physical acting of each character.

With an ensemble book, probably the best thing a writer can do to ensure the audience returns – more than upping the ante, though there are some great cliffhangers in here – is develop characters the audience wants to spend more time with. And this is a quirky batch – Vandal Savage’s good-times barbarian, the intriguingly lusty Etrigan, and the downright hilarious Sir Ystin among them – are a lot of things, but mostly, they’re just fun to watch. Even when they are doing terrible things, I find them more sympathetic and emotionally recognizable than any single member of the Justice League.  (more…)

On Fictional Character Names, Or “God I wish I’d thought of ‘Hannibal Chow’”

Posted: December 14, 2012 in Action Movies, Jeff Holland, Threat Quality
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So, we’ve got some new speculative science fictional motion pictures coming out, involving Giant Things Crashing Into Or On Top Of Each Other, and they all released trailersImage this week.

That is goddamn insane, to ask me to have opinions about Superman AND The Lone Ranger in the span of a day. Be more considerate, Hollywood.

But what amused me the most about After Earth (which is bafflingly named, since the Will Smith informs his son that the harsh alien landscape they have crashed into is, in fact, Earth, so don’t piss on my head and tell me it’s raining, movie!) and Pacific Rim (probably the most relaxing name a film about giant robots fighting monsters can have) were the character names.

Will Smith’s character, you see, is named Cypher Raige.

A screenwriter who was possibly not M. Night Shyamalan sat down, wrote something like, “Ext. – Earth Not Earth?, Night: CYPHER RAIGE looks on at his clone son, forlornedly…” and saw NOTHING THAT MIGHT NEED EDITING.

So yes, I’ve just been laughing at that name in my head all week.

Then came Pacific Rim, and…well, here:  (more…)

‘Skyfall’: The Bond Franchise Decides The 21st Century Needn’t Have Bothered

Posted: December 5, 2012 in Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality
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SkyfallBefore we get into further discussion of Skyfall, I’d like to reiterate the fact that the last act is “Elderly Brits Will Have Your Stupid Faces And There’s Nothing You Can Do About It” and that is great. That is just the best. People always treat Helen Mirren like she’s the most bad-ass elderly Englishwoman ever produced, but I’d still rather run into her in a dark alley than Judy Dench.

Helen Mirren will murder you, yes. But Judy Dench will murder you as though it was just a damn inconvenience.

Anyway.

Skyfall’s plot and themes are about looking back on your past and seeing how you’ll be judged, and if you’re past your prime, and what is it that’s really motivating you these days. And that’s a solid place to set a Bond film – especially a Bond film released during the character’s 50th anniversary.

It’s actually pretty impressive when a Bond movie is About Something. Casino Royale’s narrative and thematic throughline is “What Makes James Bond?” and remains the best of the Craig films. Quantum of Solace is about nothing very much, until it’s not even a Bond movie, but The Revenge Of This Model Who Can’t Act Very Good, Featuring James Bond as “The Help”.*

So Skyfall, in aiming to be a Bond movie that’s about something, pretty much ignores that Quantum of Solace exists (so if you were hoping this would continue the story of the vaguely SPECTRE-esque Quantum Organization, you’re out of luck).

But it also kind of assumes that you don’t remember any details of Casino Royale, and also kinda-sorta pre-supposes that ALL the Bond movies exist in one vaguely-defined continuity, which brings me to The Astin Martin.  (more…)

James Gunn, Guardians of the Galaxy

Posted: November 28, 2012 in Braak, comic books, reviews, Threat Quality
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My goodness, I am ready to be done with all this.  Here’s the thing:  James Gunn, tapped to direct Marvel/Disney’s (Marsney’s) upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy movie did this poll about the superheroes that folks would most like to engage in the intercourse with, and then he followed up all these votes with some pretty awful misogynistic and homophobic junk.

This was a year or so ago, I think, and someone just noticed it recently, so people started talking about it, and James Gunn immediately took it down but look! It’s here on Google cache.  The internet — like an elephant, or a quiet iorich — never forgets.

(more…)

DC New 52 Collected Reviews – Aquaman (Or: Holy Crap, A Positive Review For a Change)

Posted: November 21, 2012 in comic books, Jeff Holland, reviews, Threat Quality
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Well dammit. I actually really like Geoff Johns’ take on Aquaman. 

I don’t know why this annoys me. Maybe it’s because after banging through so many other New52 DC collections, I simply expected the book with Angry Aquaman stabbing at the reader to be as bad as one would assume. Aquaman isn’t a character DESIGNED to snarl and frown – he’s a blond swimmy guy who rides seahorses, talks to fish and wears bright orange! – and yet that’s been his default mode for basically the last 30 years. (Unless you go elsewhere.)

Then there’s Johns. I’m not a big Johns fan – the “Johnsian Literalism” theory put in play at Comics Alliance bugs me, and his weird insistence that every DC character have mother or father issues is disconcerting in its consistency. And here it is on display again: the opening arc focuses quite a bit on Aquaman’s relationship with his human father, as it guides the hero through his newfound, “Am I man or Atlantean?” issues.

This is probably a way of making them more “human,” but it usually feels like a hamfisted retcon that gives guys like Green Lantern and Flash something to brood over without feeling particularly intrinsic to their characters.

But damned if it doesn’t work with Aquaman. In fact, practically everything Johns comes up with for this not-quite-reboot* of the character is pretty spot-on.

Which, of course, makes That One Thing stand out even more as being a fucking terrible idea.

But we’ll save that for last, because I’m happy to actually write a positive DC review for a change, so let’s go down the list of things that go right in Aquaman Vol. 1: The Trench.  (more…)

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