As all of you know, today is Easter, a day in which Christians celebrate the terrible majesty of their Undead God.
In thirty-three AD, a criminal madman was sentenced to death by the Roman Governor Pontius Pilate. Three days after the execution, the man returned from Hell leading an army of the damned, and changing the course of history to suit his dark purposes. As is custom, every year Christians gather to appease the monstrous undead legions with fresh rabbit carcasses, attempting to sate their terrible hunger in the hopes that they will be spared and live to see the glorious End of Days, when ALL the dead shall rise up and destroy civilization as we know it, and also there will be locusts and plagues, the oceans will boil, the moon will turn as red as blood, cats and dogs will begin living together, and there will just generally be a lot of hysteria going around.
Though I am not an adherent to this faith, I feel that it is important to look past sectarian differences and recognize brothers and sisters in terror.
Iä! Iä! Iesu Ftahn!