Archive for monsters

Eigen League of Monsters, Part 7: The Stalker

Posted in Braak, crotchety ranting, Horror with tags , , , , , , , , on October 29, 2011 by braak

Part of my ONGOING SERIES about just what distinguishes the classic monsters in my WORLD FAMOUS Monster Hierarchy from each other.  The first part was about the Vampire, and it’s also got my thoughts about what an “Eigen League” is and why I think it’s meritorious to discuss this subject.  Long story short:  in a group of monsters like the kind on the hierarchy, my theory is that they sufficiently fulfill a necessary number of roles in the human consciousness with regards to horror.

Up today is the Stalker, which is a name I’m using for a whole category of nasty suckers that you’d probably recognize on sight:  Michael Meyers, Jason Vorhees, you know them, they’ve been terrorizing sexed-up teenagers for a hundred years.

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Eigen League of Monsters Part 6: Creatures, Frankenstein’s

Posted in Braak, crotchety ranting, Horror with tags , , , , , , on October 25, 2011 by braak

Part of my ONGOING SERIES about just what distinguishes the classic monsters in my WORLD FAMOUS Monster Hierarchy from each other.  The first part was about the Vampire, and it’s also got my thoughts about what an “Eigen League” is and why I think it’s meritorious to discuss this subject.  Long story short:  in a group of monsters like the kind on the hierarchy, my theory is that they sufficiently fulfill a necessary number of roles in the human consciousness with regards to horror.

This one is about Creatures in the subcategory of “Made by Dr. Frankenstein.”

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Eigen League of Monsters, Part Five: Creatures, Lagoon-Based

Posted in Braak, crotchety ranting, Horror, October Horror with tags , , , , , , on October 21, 2011 by braak

Part of my ONGOING SERIES about just what distinguishes the classic monsters in my WORLD FAMOUS Monster Hierarchy from each other.  The first part was about the Vampire, and it’s also got my thoughts about what an “Eigen League” is and why I think it’s meritorious to discuss this subject.  Long story short:  in a group of monsters like the kind on the hierarchy, my theory is that they sufficiently fulfill a necessary number of roles in the human consciousness with regards to horror.

This one is about Creatures in the sub-category, “from Lagoons and Such, Black or Otherwise.”

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Eigen League of Monsters, Part Four: Witches

Posted in Braak, crotchety ranting, monsters, October Horror with tags , , , , , , , on October 20, 2011 by braak

Part of my ONGOING SERIES about just what distinguishes the classic monsters in my WORLD FAMOUS Monster Hierarchy from each other.  The first part was about the Vampire, and it’s also got my thoughts about what an “Eigen League” is and why I think it’s meritorious to discuss this subject.  Long story short:  in a group of monsters like the kind on the hierarchy, my theory is that they sufficiently fulfill a necessary number of roles in the human consciousness with regards to horror.  Today I am going to talk about witches, because witches are a kind of monster and…

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Eigen League of Monsters, Part Three: G-g-g-g-ghosts!

Posted in Braak, crotchety ranting, monsters, October Horror with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 19, 2011 by braak

Part of my ONGOING SERIES about just what distinguishes the classic monsters in my WORLD FAMOUS Monster Hierarchy from each other.  The first part was about the Vampire, and it’s also got my thoughts about what an “Eigen League” is and why I think it’s meritorious to discuss this subject.  Long story short:  in a group of monsters like the kind on the hierarchy, my theory is that they sufficiently fulfill a necessary number of roles in the human consciousness with regards to horror.

Today I’m going to talk about two things, for reasons that I hope will be eventually made clear:  1) Unclean Spirits, and 2) Malphas, a Mighty Prince of Hell (&. al).

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Eigen League of Monsters, Part-Two: Wolf-Man

Posted in Braak, crotchety ranting, Horror, monsters, October Horror with tags , , , , on October 18, 2011 by braak

Part of my ONGOING SERIES about just what distinguishes the classic monsters in my WORLD FAMOUS Monster Hierarchy from each other.  The first part was about the Vampire, and it’s also got my thoughts about what an “Eigen League” is and why I think it’s meritorious to discuss this subject.  Long story short:  in a group of monsters like the kind on the hierarchy, my theory is that they sufficiently fulfill a necessary number of roles in the human consciousness with regards to horror.  Today, the Wolf-Man.

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Eigen League of Monsters, Part One: The Vampire

Posted in Braak, crotchety ranting, Horror, monsters, October Horror with tags , , , , , , on October 17, 2011 by braak

It has been nearly TWO YEARS since I first published the Hierarchy of Monsters, and in the subsequent time no one has published any modified hierarchy that is more accurate, complete, or awesome.  This means that, by default, I am the internet’s leading Monsterologist.  Suck it up, kids, you lost this round.

In my role as the Internet’s the World’s the Universe’s leading Monsterologist, I have come to discuss something that I’ve been thinking of as the monster Eigen League.

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I Don’t Understand This Being Human Show

Posted in Braak, crotchety ranting with tags , , , , , on March 23, 2011 by braak

I mean, I understand it in the sense that, “A ghost, a vampire, and a werewolf share an apartment, what’s not to understand?” What I don’t understand is why anybody would make it. The original, okay, maybe, but the American remake on SyFy, I don’t know that I get it.
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On Horrible Things

Posted in Braak with tags , , , , , , on June 17, 2010 by braak

There are a lot of horrible things in movies.  Sometimes, these things can be combined to make something EVEN MORE HORRIBLE.  Most of the time, they cannot.  Dead Snow has got me thinking about some things that might combine effectively.

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A Hierarchy of Monsters

Posted in Braak with tags , , on October 28, 2009 by braak

Over at io9, they’re doing another one of those “who would win?” voting contests, this time between classic horror monsters.  This is, obviously, madness–the general population is ignorant as to the nature and danger of assorted monsters, and consequently their opinions on the potency of those monsters is suspect.  This is evidenced by the very first competition:  ”Zombie versus Mummy,” in which Zombies won by about 30%.

This is nonsense, and it needs to be rectified.  I am going to explain the order that the monsters go in, so that it can be settled.  In the future, if your children ask you, “Who would win in a fight?  The Mummy or the Wolf-Man?” please refer them to this list, as it will save a lot of time.

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