Happy Christmas. War Ain’t Over.

Posted: December 23, 2008 in Christmas
Tags: , , , ,

christmas-star-warsYou might think that we here at Threat Quality Press are anti-Christmas. You would be wrong.

We are, on occasion, anti-sentimental. But, y’know. It’s Christmas. So a little sentiment is okay, right?

So here, for your holiday pleasure, are three of my (Holland here) favorite Christmas songs.

First up: The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl with “Fairytale of New York,” a song of collapsing love in the big city around the holiday. Everyone focuses on MacColl’s “You’re a bum, you’re a maggot, a cheap lousy faggot/happy Christmas your arse, I pray god its our last” as the reason to hear the song, but I disagree.
For my money, it’s Shane MacGowan’s withered attempt to rekindle it all, by explaining that he took MacColl’s hopes and, “Put ’em wif my own/can’t make it all alone/I built my dreams around you.” For me, that weak plea of warmth and fellow-feeling is what makes it Christmas:

Next up is The Raveonettes’ “Christmas Song.” Nothing more than a beautiful love song set during a Christmas snowfall:

And lastly, possibly The Greatest Christmas Song of All Time. The answer to that perennial holiday question, “What Can You Get a Wookie For Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb?)”, by the (I am not making this up) Star Wars Holiday Singers. It’s a family favorite in the Holland household.

Why, yes, my family is a bit quirky, why do you ask?

There are dozens more – The Waitresses’ “Christmas Wrapping,” any Motown or Phil Specter holiday tunes – but I thought I’d just offer a taste.

How about it – what song makes the holiday for you?

  1. threatqualitypress says:

    Good, okay, we should move that discussion to this post:

    “Father Christmas” by the Kinks.

    Father Christmas, give us your money,
    We got no time for those silly toys.
    Father Christmas, give us some money,
    We’ll beat you up if you make us annoyed.

    Give my daddy a job cause he needs one
    He’s got lots of mouths to feed
    But if you’ve got one, I’ll have a machine gun
    So I can scare all the kids down the street

    Father Christmas, give us some money
    We got no time for your silly toys
    We’ll beat you up if you don’t hand it over
    We want your bread so don’t make us annoyed.

    Give all the toys to the little rich boys

  2. Jeff Holland says:

    If I could’ve found a video that wasn’t a mashup of scenes from “The OC,” or some guy who taped himself drumming to it, I would’ve also posted “Everything’s Gonna Be Cool This Christmas” by The Eels, if only for this line:

    Baby Jesus: Born to rock.

  3. Megan says:

    “I want an alien for Christmas” by Jersey own Fountains of Wayne. It has also made some of people worst list. The song “Winter Valley Song” by Fountains of Wayne (another score for the home team!) that is now getting played on the LL Bean commercial. May not be exactly a Christmas song but many songs around now were not at first. Oh yeah and before I leave a little trivia. What was the title of the Christmas song in “About a Boy”?

  4. Hsiang says:

    Jeff, thank you for that clip of “Fairytale of New York”. It’s a favorite on the jukebox at my local but I’ve never seen the video. This makes up fr the time Shane threatened to beat up my fiends at 5 in the morning when they asked him to please the bar. Ahh, memories!

  5. Jeff Holland says:

    Was that the actual wording you used? Because I’m not sure how I’d react if someone asked me to “please the bar,” and I like to think I’m far more stable than Shane McGowan.

  6. Jeff Holland says:

    Oh, and the Christmas song that set Hugh Grant’s character up for life in “About a Boy” was “Santa’s Super Sleigh.”


    “Chiron Beta Prime” by Jonathan Coulton:

    “This year has been a little crazy for the Andersons.
    You may recall we had some trouble last year.
    The robot council had us banished to an asteroid.
    That hasn’t undermined our holiday cheer.
    And we know it’s almost Christmas from the marks we make on the wall.
    And that’s our favorite time of year.

    Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime,
    where we’re working in a mine for our robot overlords.
    Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
    Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime!”

  7. Brian Forsyth says:

    Bing Crosby and David Bowie doing Peace On Earth/The Little Drummer Boy is awesome. It’s Bing. It’s Bowie. ‘Nuff said.

  8. Jeff Holland says:

    A classic indeed, Forsyth:

    The best part is the pointless, half-scripted, half-rambly dialogue between them before they get to the song.

    Okay, maybe not “best,” but anyone wondering where Stephen Colbert’s special came from – THIS is where.

  9. Hsiang says:

    @ Jeff Holland- Uh, I meant “beat up my fRiends at 5 in the morning when they asked him to please LEAVE the bar.” My drunken typing skills need work.

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