Current Obsession: Sexy Midnight Snack Chips

Posted: April 15, 2009 in Threat Quality

doritos-11I have a demented fascination with Doritos flavors, primarily because there are so damn many of them and they’re getting more oddly specific every year. This culminated in last year’s ‘mystery’ flavor, which turned out to be Mountain Dew.

Work that out in your head a little bit. Mountain Dew Flavored Doritos. In other words: Food for gamers.

Now, Doritos is targeting that other sure-fire snack-food demographic: Hungry Drunk People.

Because that’s the not-so-subtle message in this new line of chips. They’re not just taco-flavored. Doritos has already done taco-flavored. These are tacos…after midnight. The “Silk Stalkings” of tortilla chips, if you will – dangerous and sexy (but on a limited budget). Of course, the only people eating tacos after midnight may be dangerous and sexy, but most likely are people who are A) awake after midnight, and B) think tacos is just about the best idea they’ve ever had. So: drunk people.

And I have to admit, it does feel a bit like a betrayal to be eating them around lunchtime. But I will tell you this: the Frito-Lay people have somehow successfully captured a mood in flavoring, and that’s no small feat. Tacos After Midnight tastes very much like tacos from a Taco Bell that’s been open for 16 hours and whose employees are apathetic (at best!) to your flavor concerns; this blends on the palate with a hint of disorientation, skewed self-image, and stale smoke. And cumin. Lotta cumin. And cumin makes things good.

Oh, I forgot to mention, the flavoring gets more explicitly ‘hey drunkie, shove this in your chip-hole!’ from here:
doritos-2

I honestly can’t wait.

(I would also direct you to the Doritos website, so you can marvel at how needlessly complicated a website devoted to snack chips can be. Here’s a hint: The “Flavor Lab” is hidden under a helicopter launch pad. Go on.)

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Comments
  1. Hsiang says:

    Next up in the hip new “Doritos Late Night” line:

    Something You Made Out of Ramen Noodles, American Cheese, and Tartar Sauce at 3 A.M.

    Chipolte Crushed Dreams ‘n’ Empty Bitterness

    Somebody’s Stale Vomit

  2. threatqualitypress says:

    That ramen, cheese, & tartar sauce thing sounds pretty good.

  3. Jeff Holland says:

    “Unwise telephone call chili blast” is gonna be delicious, I just know it.

  4. Tom Miller says:

    That Dorito’s website is amazing! Too strange not to be true.

    Next “Late Night” flavors will be:

    Crack Head Cookies

    Pizza Pot Party

    &

    Bacon Flavored Backstage Argument With Your Lead Singer

  5. Hsiang says:

    Another Bukowskilicous South-of the-Border Taste Sensation!

  6. V.I.P. Referee says:

    Ideas for an advertisement, anyone?

  7. matt says:

    “How the Hell did I get home last night, gee I hope I didn’t kill anyone Bean Beef Burrito Flavor”

  8. b. foxwell says:

    I have many troubles with my web browser GrassHopper MDI Explorer on your site. The gremlins are in the page :-(.

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