Brief update from a traveling man

Posted: May 5, 2009 in Jeff Holland

There are dead pigeons in the carport, I’ve so far given $15 to homeless hotelpeople, the blackened mahi-mahi punished my stomach-stomach, this city-sized hotel’s elevators are slow as hell and there’s no Comedy Central on the cable.

Atlanta sucks.

That is all.

(Please note: this is written prior to my trip to the WORLD OF COCA-COLA! which may turn this whole trip around.)

  1. Jeff Holland says:

    And what complete tard walks around wearing a CNN souvenir T-shirt?!


  2. threatqualitypress says:

    That is a huge hotel. Whoah.

  3. Tad says:

    You can’t blame your homeless people-suckerness on the city of Atlanta!

    Also, have you run into any of Atlanta’s numerous sushi bar drag queen pagents?

  4. Jeff Holland says:

    No I HAVEN’T, and after you raised my hopes!

  5. V.I.P. Referee says:

    Isn’t Atlanta the home of “TBS”? Are you telling us you’re not interested in watching another midnight “Pauly Shore-a-thon”? What experience can’t be made better from three consecutive viewings of “Encino Man”?

  6. Lisa says:

    One bit of advice from someone who’s been there… Don’t fall for the delicious smell of the hot dogs at the Atlanta airport. Especially before getting on a plane. You think the blackened Mahi mahi punished your stomach? You have no idea….

  7. threatqualitypress says:

    What are you supposed to eat in Atlanta? Isn’t it just fried butter sandwiches and grits, or something?

  8. threatqualitypress says:

    Also: Encino Man is a great fucking movie.

  9. Jeff Holland says:

    Oddly enough, I did find myself watching “Journey to the Center of the Earth” on HBO late Sunday night. So I got my Brendan Frazer fill.

    (And it was slight, but amusing enough, and probably looked really neat-o in the theaters.)

    The only really pleasant part of the trip was Ted Turner’s burger restaurant, where I ate a really delicious bison burger on – yes – buttered, toasted roll.

    So, sadly, Ted Turner saved my trip. As he has saved Atlanta itself on countless occasions.

    Wait, no, I’m thinking AtlanTIS. And I’m thinking Aquaman.

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