Know Yourself Through Dirty Fighting

Posted: June 2, 2009 in Threat Quality
Tags: ,

No, that is not the name of a self-help book (the most awesome self-help book ever, in fact!).

Fight Dirty

Facebook can teach you a lot about yourself. Case in point: the current time-waster du jour, “How Well Do You Know ____?” wherein you write a short (or, if you’re annoying, very long) series of multiple-choice questions about yourself, and your friends answer.

Now, assuming your goal isn’t to be made crushingly aware of how little your friends actually know about you, you can write questions where the actual-factual answer isn’t the point. The point is to see how people view you.

Which is why you should ask what dirty-fighting techniques people think you would use.

In my quiz, I phrased it like so:

“If Jeff had to fight you, what is the dirtiest trick he would pull?
a) Kick to nads (or ladyparts, if nads unavailable)
b) Dust in eyes (a la ‘Bloodsport’)
c) Threaten safety of faraway child as distraction
d) Claim diplomatic immunity (a la ‘Lethal Weapon 2’)
e) Criticize your weight (psychological strike – BOOM!)”

Now: it doesn’t matter what you choose as the correct answer – this is actually pretty arbitrary (unless you really, truly have a particular dirty fighting style, in which case you probably aren’t writing Facebook quizzes, I imagine).

What’s important is the answer your friends choose. This is where you can get a real picture of what people think of you.

The majority of people I know chose “Claim diplomatic immunity.” Apparently, to know me is to believe that if I were to fight dirty, I would use treacherous (and kinda self-aggrandizing) means to avoid the fight entirely.

Because I am classy like that.

Ask around. What kind of dirty fighter do people think you are?

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Comments
  1. threatqualitypress says:

    That’s basically exactly what I thought about you.

  2. Megan says:

    Ha I got this right and I’m not telling the answer!

  3. Jeff Holland says:

    Yes, let it be known that my girlfriend is one of two people who got it right. Which is both scary and awesome.

  4. V.I.P. Referee says:

    The lady implies that she’s actually seen her man in action, perhaps while he was fighting off ninjas in smokey back-alleys or “Bladerunner” bars. It would be ninjas, either way. And both very romantic scenarios, if you think about it.

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