Posted: June 17, 2009 in Braak

Today, while driving around, I saw a sign outside of a church that said, “What would you do if Jesus came to your house today?”

I thought to myself: “Well, I’ve still got some beer in the fridge.”

Is that the right answer? If the Buddha came to my house, obviously I’d have to kill him. But I’m not sure if I’m supposed to do that with Jesus.

  1. Jeff Holland says:

    Well, politeness dictates you make him a sandwich, too.

    Wait, can Jesus eat ham? I forget the rules on these things.

  2. braak says:

    He is a Jew, technically. I guess we’d finally be able to find out how accurate replacement theology is.

    Here’s a serious question though: I know he might not be able to eat ham, should I offer it anyway? I feel like if he can’t eat ham, Jesus would probably just politely decline, because that’s how he rolls–but would it be inappropriate of me to offer in the first place?

  3. Jeff Holland says:

    You should probably get some tuna salad together just in case.

  4. V.I.P. Referee says:

    He’d politely accept the sandwich, then change it when you weren’t looking to whatever he’d actually wanted—also changing your poncy “Bass” to a more humble “Red Stripe”.

  5. braak says:

    See, that’s exactly the kind of thing that Jesus does that I have a problem with. He’d take the ham sandwich, and then what? I’d go around telling everyone that, “Yeah, sure, Jesus thinks ham is great!”

    He’s only creating confusion by doing that! It is not rude to mention that ham is prohibited by his religious laws–he should just say so!

  6. deb says:

    You could ask him. But then he’d probably tell you some kind of parable and you’d never get a straight answer out of him anyway. I’d go with the tuna option. If he doesn’t like it, he can feed the multitudes.

  7. mordicai says:

    I’m pretty sure you are still supposed to kill him.

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