Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for Threat Quality Press to reveal its THIRD secret initiative! This one is probably the most out-there plan for all of the things we have planned for Threat Quality. So, without any further ado, I give you the grandest of grand experiments, the boldest of bold plans, I give you:
The Threat Quality Broadsheet!
That is correct. Starting TODAY, Threat Quality press will be printing a monthly, actual ink-and-paper BROADSHEET, that will be distributed throughout Philadelphia. It will be printed on 11×17 paper, twice the size of standard printer paper, and folded in such a way as to be the size of a standard pamphlet. This size will permit us to reprint two or three blog articles–any number of our essays or short stories for example–and still have room available to sell cheap advertising.
And I mean cheap–of the twelve panels that a folded 11×17 sheet creates, my intention is to sell each half-panel for $15; this is an ideal price for, for example: theaters, bars with special promotions, people that want to rent rooms or apartments or something, I don’t know. I’m not real worried, because I can print a couple hundred of these for cheap, and need only four or five half-panels to cover the costs.
So, that’s the first part, BUT THAT’S NOT ALL!
I’m going to be printing these in Philadelphia but, hopefully, as Threat Quality’s reader and writership grows, we’ll find people interested in starting similar programs in other cities. We’ll provide content in Broadsheet, Wholesheet (two sides of one 8.5×11 page) and Halfsheet. You, the broadsheet printer, will be responsible for finding local advertisers, BUT you’ll be permitted to keep ALL of the revenue earned from it.
There are any number of reasons you might want to do this. Let’s say you were me, and you had a bunch of stories on Threat Quality. Well, you could drop a few bucks to print a few hundred halfsheets and leave them around town, thus giving audiences a SAMPLE of your excellent work AND driving that audience to the website, where they can read EVEN MORE of your writing! That’s awesome! Moreover, if you’ve got the time and inclination to find a couple advertisers, you could have a wholesheet printed off, cover all of your costs, and make twenty extra bucks.
Now, if you’re a Threat Quality author and you’re not Jeff or me, you do not HAVE to participate in the broadsheets program. We will not print your work without your permission, and refusing to let us print it in the broadsheets will not IN ANY WAY hurt your chances of getting something run on the site. This is a purely optional program in which we’re trying to incentivize strangers doing advertising for you, the writer.
My opinion is: the hundred people you get who now know your name is going to be worth more to you, in the long run, than the ten bucks you get as your share of ad revenue on the sheets. If you’ve got a different opinion, that’s fine–no one’s twisting your arm. Holland and I definitely have enough material to fill out at least a year’s worth of sheets our own.
This is a bold, daring, and zany plan, I’ll admit. It may fail utterly! However, I am excited about it, and I think that it may, in fact, be one of the best plans I’ve ever had!
Now, dear readers: it’s time to start folding. Also: if you see anyone new dropping by in the comments section, be nice to them. We are a friendly community here! Except for me. I am NOT friendly. But you guys are.
In other news:
Having started this project in the basement, I am really starting to wish I hadn’t taken the TV out of here.
I claim TQP Royersford! Holland, you’re going to have to settle for Spring City, or if you feel like driving a little ways, Pottstown.
This is a fine initiative, and compels me to begin thinking more seriously about what my next contribution to Threat Quality will be.
Also, everyone: the HP K8600 is a huge piece of shit!
Fly in ointment?
I think I can handle the raging fury that I experience at even the smallest and least offensive of inconveniences if it’s only once a month.
It turns out, all I have to do is tell it to print, then cancel the job, then tell it to print again, then cancel the job, then tell it to print again, then cancel the job, then tell it to print again, and it will work.
Can’t be a bug, must be a feature.
I heard “daring,” “zany,” and “fail utterly.” I AM VERY ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT THIS ENDEAVOR BASED ON THE FIRST TWO WORDS!