PART 3: THINGS GET LONG
Lisa: So what defines Canada is ummm….. politeness?
Holland: Is this really “slam poetry”? Isn’t it just “doughy guy says nice things about Canada”?
Tad: politeness, maple leafs, molson/labatt, and curling
Holland: And neck-beards.
Tad: Oh, and Mounties!
Mike: For the love of god…light the damn torch!
Lisa: YAY KD LANG!!!
Lisa: Oh no – not this song [Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen -ed]!!!!! Ruined forever by Watchmen.
Holland: She may yet win this song back from the Superheroes Boinking in an Airship scene.
Tad: They could have cut like 40 minutes from this and had a great ceremony… time to celebrate the good countries, mock the silly ones, get a little Canadian flavor, and then start the damn fire.
Holland: I think Canada was happy for the attention, but just didn’t know when to quit.
Tad: Canada: Thanks for Watching, eh!
Lisa: Right now Celine Dion is so angry at Anne Murray!
Holland: The longstanding Dion-Murray feud escalates!
Holland: I think they just turned all the lights on in the stadium – are they all supposed to go home now?
Tad: Better not… 4 hours of build-up for the torch!
Holland: OK, world – you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here. In Glorious Canada.
Lisa: T-minus 3 minutes – just enough time to go pee and get another beer. Thanks Canada.
Holland: “Canada’s always happy to help you get another beer, eh.”
Tad: Canada: plenty of time to pee and grab a beer!
Holland: Do not say “mechanical failure,” Costas. DO NOT SAY “MECHANICAL FAILURE.”
Lisa: Canadians. Not so technically proficient.
Tad: Well, 3 out of 4 ice torches, isn’t bad.
Holland: No, YOU can follow Wayne Gretsky, Costas. I am moving on.
Lisa: Really Holland – you’re moving on – after all we’ve been through together tonight? I mean really – what else is there to watch on Friday night? Caprica?
Holland: Sigh…No…I’ll watch the Great One light the second, apparently more important torch.
Holland: Hahaha nobody watches Caprica.
Lisa: The Great One trots off to light the OTHER cauldron – you know – the one that people can actually see outside…. Go Wayne!
Holland: Wait…is Gretsky lighting the outside torch while we listen to Joe Biden wax nostalgic about the last time he was in Vancouver?
Tad: Oh wow, and they have to truck him over there.
Mike: Hey! Let’s make the 2nd cauldron 5 miles away so Wayne Gretzky has to ride outside in the rain to get to it! Good idea, Canada. Good idea.
Lisa: And it’s lit! And so am I!
GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!
