A Teachable Writing Moment With Kevin Smith

Posted: April 29, 2010 in Action Movies, Jeff Holland, Threat Quality
Tags: , , ,

A couple weeks back, we discussed some rules for writing, and why “rules for writing” is maybe a little restrictive.

On the other hand: Kevin Smith.

Offered without comment (other than my little bit of dickishness above), here are some actual lines of narration from his aborted-screenplay-turned-comic-series, Green Hornet:

“The dusty arsenal beneath his feet hums a siren’s lie of promise.”

“So he purges all thought…Just as Kato taught him…and one last time…for the good of others…Britt Reid marches into harm’s way.”

“Standing before a mockery of the good he’d done with his life…The Green Hornet affords himself a final musing, before his training takes over…”You were right, Janet…the hat does look goofy.”

All this narration happened on a single page.

Now: look at this page, and try to imagine what it would look like without overwrought captions.

Without the captions…that would be kind of a cool scene.

So I guess we can use this as a teachable moment, and offer another writing rule – “Narration: Easy Does It.”

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Comments
  1. braak says:

    I don’t think that hat looks goofy.

  2. dagocutey says:

    Oh dear.

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