A couple weeks back, we discussed some rules for writing, and why “rules for writing” is maybe a little restrictive.
On the other hand: Kevin Smith.
Offered without comment (other than my little bit of dickishness above), here are some actual lines of narration from his aborted-screenplay-turned-comic-series, Green Hornet:
“The dusty arsenal beneath his feet hums a siren’s lie of promise.”
“So he purges all thought…Just as Kato taught him…and one last time…for the good of others…Britt Reid marches into harm’s way.”
“Standing before a mockery of the good he’d done with his life…The Green Hornet affords himself a final musing, before his training takes over…”You were right, Janet…the hat does look goofy.”
All this narration happened on a single page.
Now: look at this page, and try to imagine what it would look like without overwrought captions.
Without the captions…that would be kind of a cool scene.
So I guess we can use this as a teachable moment, and offer another writing rule – “Narration: Easy Does It.”
I don’t think that hat looks goofy.
Oh dear.