Holland’s Writing Rules, Part 286 (let’s say)

Posted: May 20, 2010 in Threat Quality
Tags: , ,

Dear Hollywood Screenwriters,

Can we be done with the phrase “If I wanted to kill you, you’d be dead by now?” and all related proclamations?

We get it, the guy is dangerous.There’s a reason he didn’t shoot to kill.

Perhaps there is another way of conveying this.

Because honestly, if I’m in a life-or-death situation, and I try to kill someone, and I fail (because let’s face it, I’m probably not going to be very good at that)? That is the FIRST thing I’m going to tell him.

How about we try, “I don’t want to kill you yet. You’re useful.” Or, “Killing you doesn’t help me at this juncture.”

Okay, those kind of suck, but you’re the big-shot Hollywood screenwriters, you get paid for this crap. Do a little of your own legwork.

Thanks,
Jeff Holland

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Comments
  1. sebastian says:

    “If I killed you I wouldn’t be able to keep hurting you.”

  2. Jeff Holland says:

    “Kill you? Do I LOOK like I have time to hide a body?”

    I think this will be an ongoing project of mine.

    Also, orders the tough-as-nails leader can bark besides “Hit ’em hard, hit ’em fast!”

  3. Andre says:

    ““If I killed you I wouldn’t be able to keep hurting you.””

    Khaaaaannnnnn!!!!!!

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