Get Out of Cities, Return to the Trees

Posted: May 28, 2010 in Jeff Holland, Threat Quality

So amidst all the complaining about Facebook’s privacy policy and how it gives out your information to advertisers and BLA BLA BLA I uncovered a far more insidious threat.

I am seeing the Twitter feeds of people whose Twitter feeds I DO NOT FOLLOW, EVEN WHEN I AM NOT USING TWITTER.

I pop over to Entertainment Weekly, mostly just force of habit, and I read this, on EW’s scrolling feed of vaguely-famous-people-with-Twitter-accounts:

“SOLEIL MOON FRYE (Moonfrye): Question of the day: What’s your current favorite song?”

I did not seek out the current thoughts of a former child actress. And yet, there it was. My thought process, in three parts:

1)      I don’t care about Soleil Moon Frye. I have ZERO attachment to her. I don’t hate her, though I remember not much liking ‘Punky Brewster’ as a kid, and

2)      I’m fairly certain that knowing Soleil Moon Frye’s current favorite song – or indeed, any of the responses from her 1.4 MILLION followers – will not noticeably improve my day, and yet

3)      I still kind of want to let her know that I’m really enjoying “Southern Pacifica” by Josh Ritter.

And that’s about the time when this weekend’s camping trip was more than a vacation, and it was more than great timing since I seem to have reached my absolute limit of web-based information – it was a NECESSARY REMOVAL of the internet from my system for a couple of blessed days.

I need an internet detox that can only come with sitting by a lake and failing to catch fish.

So, for that, I thank you, Ms. Moon Frye.

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Comments
  1. Moff says:

    SHE USED TO HAVE REALLY BIG BOOBS.

  2. Daniel says:

    Nice obscure Blur reference 😀

  3. V.I.P. Referee says:

    Yesterday, I went outside, rubbed my eyes and looked around…at trees. And sky. Birds and things. It was…magical. I spend hours typing and devising ways to protect people and this stuff from our tendency toward destruction (okay and maybe some hours looking at “Youtube” videos. Internet is the time killer, but in the way I’d imagine heroin to be; it feels so good while you’re doing it, even though you know watching one more fan montage set to a “Neil Diamond” song is probably very bad for your health). But I hadn’t actually looked at nature in a while. It made me feel…happy.

    (NOT OBSCURE! Just totally awesome! TQP forever!)

  4. braak says:

    @Moff: Wait, used to? What happened to them?

  5. Moff says:

    @braak: They were hurting her back, so she had surgery. I guess they just chop them right off or something.

  6. Tad says:

    If you can work in a reference to “swallows in a heatwave” I’ll be really impressed!

  7. dagocutey says:

    @Moff: How do you know so much about her boobs? And for someone who knows so much about them, you know nothing about breast reduction. Which is what she must have had, not a double mastectomy. Sheesh.

  8. Moff says:

    @dagocutey: It was in the news! It was a long, long time ago. And no, I’m pretty positive they just take a giant butcher knife and chop them right off for that kind of procedure. Exactly like a vasectomy, except for ladies.

  9. dagocutey says:

    Exactly.

  10. Jeff Holland says:

    I was also very aware of her boob reduction dealy, thanks to a People Magazine at the dentist’s from like ten years ago.

    Oh, those dark ages, when People Magazine was our only answer for the idle thought, “Wonder what Soleil Moon Frye is up to these days?”

  11. Moff says:

    It was seriously like the one and only thing she really made the news for after Punky Brewster for a long time, I guess simply because she had been a preadolescent child star and no one had really thought of her in a boob way. That was the day America lost its innocence.

  12. Moff says:

    Or Vietnam. Vietnam could have also been the day.

  13. deb says:

    Wait. Soleil Moon-Frye has 1.4 MILLION followers?! WTF????

  14. katy says:

    I enjoy that the first ad after this post is for “privacy trees.”

  15. Jeff Holland says:

    Yes, Deb, I think that got a little lost in the shuffle, so let us reiterate this frankly UNFATHOMABLE YET UNASSAILABLE FACT:

    Soleil Moon Frye has 1.4 MILLION FOLLOWERS on Twitter.

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