‘The Event’ is becoming hilarious

Posted: October 12, 2010 in Jeff Holland, Threat Quality
Tags: , , ,

I think I keep watching “The Event” is to see just how much more convoluted it can get, before the actors break down, look directly into the camera and shrug apologetically.

It’s running on two tracks right now: Ridiculous Chase Plot, and Ridiculous Vague Alien Plot, both equally overcomplicated, and both kind of hilarious as a result.

And just as a little perk, the only thing really tying these plots together are characters who are such TV Parents – who only say and do things the most hackneyed TV dramedy parents would say  – that every time they show up I start to lose it.

Track 1: Jason Ritter: FUGITIVE!
OK, so let’s follow along with the plan so far: Jason Ritter’s girlfriend was kidnapped from a cruise ship by a woman they befriended after Jason Ritter rescued her from “drowning.” Then They deleted records so it looked like Jason Ritter and his girlfriend were never ON the boat even though he’s clearly on the boat now. And then he gets off the boat and nobody cares (apparently), and then a week later he sneaks onto a plane to stop his girlfriend’s Dad, who’s flying the plane under orders from the girlfriend’s Kidnappers (who may or may not be in league with They). Then They crash the plane he runs away and They frame him for the murder of a guy on the boat, and then the FBI gets him. But They for some reason send a hit squad to kill Jason Ritter but instead manage to kill an entire FBI office EXCEPT Jason Ritter and the FBI agent who now believes him, and these two go on the run to track down the girlfriend, who’s still being held by the Kidnappers.

Now, the Kidnappers have set up a fake scenario where the girlfriend escapes and runs to the cops. This is so the Kidnappers can find Jason Ritter? Because apparently a bunch of dudes with machine guns wasn’t enough to kill a “freelance video game maker” (yes, really), so the Kidnappers…decided to get creative? I guess?

You guys? Your plan has a few more steps than is necessary. Remember on the boat? Yeah, you should’ve killed him on the boat.

Track 2: The Aliens Who Are Just Kinda Winging It
Meanwhile, the President has just learned we’ve been secretly keeping a bunch of Aliens in a holding facility for 60 years, who look human and are genetically very similar except they don’t seem to age (but I’m gonna keep calling them Aliens until it’s revealed that they’re future-humans). And the President is all happy to let them out and reveal them to the public, until a secret Alien sect who already infiltrated our society decides to crash a plane into the president’s compound (or possibly this is the plan of the Kidnappers, we still don’t know). Then the Aliens teleport the plane to Utah, kill all the passengers, and then unkill them as a “display of power.” They want all the Aliens released, but I guess not publicly? Or they’ll do more stuff!
Meanwhile (again), it’s become clear that the President – who has been handling all the interrogations of the Alien leader himself, for no good reason – hasn’t actually gotten any relevant information from Alien leader, who now will not divulge anything, but clearly managed to get one of the aliens to kill another one who was about to turn stoolpigeon.
SO to recap: Captive Aliens are doing stuff but don’t want to be revealed even though clearly the President never should have considered it in the first place because their agenda is so secret as to be pretty goddamn blatant. Also, superpowers. And some kind of incredibly muddy Immigration theme.

Track 3: Meanwhile There Are Flashbacks
OK, I just wanted to make fun of the parents but couldn’t find a way to blend it in:

“I think you bagged a good one, honey,” says mom after listening to her daughter’s boyfriend yammer on about how his parents are divorced after first lying about it.

“I got something I think you’re gonna like…” future-dad-in-law says before pouring him some 18-year-old scotch. Take a good look at Jason Ritter: You are wasting a perfectly good glass of scotch.

Why is “The Event” so awful? Personally, I blame its featured sponsor, Arby’s.

That makes as much sense as anything else on this show.

 

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Comments
  1. braak says:

    Wait, is the plane that Jason Ritter crashed the same as the plane that got teleported into the desert?

    So, the Kidnappers wanted to kill the president with the plane, but then the Aliens displayed their power by teleporting it away, so that the president wouldn’t reveal them?

  2. Jeff Holland says:

    Yes. That is all absolutely correct. Somehow.

  3. braak says:

    Teleporting planes to Utah is certainly a novel way of keeping a low profile.

  4. Jeff Holland says:

    I forgot to mention the time that Jason Ritter escaped the FBI car because while they were stopped by a state trooper who insisted that there was some kind of environmental disaster that prevented them from driving any further (even though the crashed plane was like RIGHT behind a mountain and sticking out a little) – a Winnebago that must’ve been doing 90 with the brakes cut just SMASHED into the FBI car.

    The car’s demolished and flipped over. The FBI driver? Dead. The FBI lady? Unconscious and badly hurt. Jason Ritter in the backseat? Oh he’s fine. A little nicked up.

  5. Jeff Holland says:

    Oh and the Winnebago wasn’t sent by the Kidnappers or anything – it was JUST a Winnebago that wouldn’t stop even though on a desert road you can see a road block like two miles away.

    The Event: Where Things Just Kind Of Happen.

  6. The Event: Where things just kind of happen, but only one happening is important. And this isn’t it.

  7. sebastian says:

    There is so much stupid going on in this show it sorts overwhelms you, but the one that stuck out to me is that although The Kidnappers proclaim that Jason Ritter is putting it all together, he isn’t. All he knows is that his girlfriend was kidnapped by people who really, really wanted to kidnap his girlfriend. And also his plane ended up in Utah somehow.

    And the entire point of kidnapping the girlfriend was to get her father to crash a plane. Now that the father is in federal custody, there really is no reason to keep girlfriend alive and/or not release her.

    I don’t really care which they do but what makes no sense is to keep her kidnapped and taunt Jason Ritter into a cat and mouse game. There’s no reason to do that except that there is probably an interminable 20-ish episodes left in this season.

    And what, they want Jason Ritter to come to them? Couldn’t they just call him and say, “We have your girlfriend” instead of a comical plan that could have gone wrong at about a billion different moments to get girlfriend to call him?

    Oh yeah and the sequence of flashbacks that added literally nothing to the story except that Jason Ritter is estranged from his family. That is the only piece of information given in that entire sequence of flashbacks.

    Mind. Boggled.

  8. deb says:

    So, what exactly is The Event, then? Or maybe it hasn’t happened yet? Maybe Jason Ritter’s estranged family will show up and they’ll be aliens and so HE’S an alien and that’s why the kidnappers want him to come to them. Blergh. There is nothing about this show that even remotely entices me to watch it. And yet it’s on TeeVee — money changed hands and it is now on a MAJOR NETWORK!

  9. Jeff Holland says:

    I heard the guy in charge of DB Sweeney is Val Kilmer.

    (Ssshhh, everyone be quiet, I want to see if I can get that Val Kilmer correcting lady from my other stupid post over to this link.)

  10. Tommy Deelite says:

    So is Ritter the star of the show? He’s never in the commercials, at least those I’ve seen since its premiere.

  11. […] is up with genre shows naming their enemies after numbers? The “63′s” here; on The Event (a show I confess I’d completely forgotten about until other reviews mentioned it) had its 1 […]

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