“Because last time I hit them gently and slowly and that didn’t work out at ALL.”

Geoff Johns and Peter Tomasi are listed as co-writers on “Brightest Day” #13, so unfortunately I can’t say for sure who decided to start off an issue with one of the stupidest action-movie dialogue cliches in existence. But guys: You really disappointed yourselves today, you know that?

I mean, it’s Hawkman. His powers are he HITS PEOPLE WHILE FLYING AT THEM. He only HAS two settings, and they are “hard” and “fast.” Does he really think people might expect some other strategy from him? YEEEESH.

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