Things You Need to be a Glenn Beck Fan

Posted: March 15, 2011 in Braak, Politics
Tags: , ,

1.  Be afraid of something.  This could be something fairly practical, like “losing your job”, but it could also be something hallucinatory, like “Mexicans are going to take over American and impose Shariah Law.”

2.  Be so uncomfortable with the fact that you live in a world of uncertainty that you’ll believe anything, no matter how mind-bogglingly stupid, as long as it gives you some sort of comfort.

3.  Buy gold.

Glenn Beck isn’t saying that the earthquake in Japan was because of radical Islam.  But he isn’t NOT saying it, either.

Glenn Beck is a psychoalchemist.  He makes money by converting fear into anger.  This makes sense, if you think about it; anger must be a higher energy state than fear, so he can glean stuff off the top after the change.

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Comments
  1. Carl says:

    Please tell me you came up with the term “psychoalchemist”, it’s frickin brilliant.

  2. braak says:

    I did. I am now thinking about making a chart that evaluates the relative energy levels of emotional states, to see if there’s any places where it corresponds with the entertainment industry.

  3. Smeagol92055 says:

    Dude. Can we like, get a dictionary of awesome Braak-speak sometime in the near future? I could read words you make up all day long.

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