DC’s New 52 Reviews: Supergirl

Posted: September 23, 2011 in Braak, comic books, reviews
Tags: , , , ,

Supergirl (written by Michael Green and Mike Johnson, and drawn by Mahmud Asrar)

I wasn’t going to review this, for reasons of personal bias that I’m not going to go into right now, but I’ve calmed down a little and am willing to take a crack at it.  This was I guess an “okay” book, in the sense that I wasn’t actively infuriated by it, but I do fully expect to have forgotten about it by next week, so I think that’s still a far cry from “good.”

So, let me be clear again:  I never read Supergirl in the old days, I don’t really care about Supergirl.  I’ve got no abiding interest in what you do or don’t do with her character, make her a deadly space monster or something if you want, whatever, I don’t care.

Not that it matters, in this case, because there’s no issue about drastically changing her character based on this first issue, since we found out basically nothing about her character.

Here is what happens:  a meteor crashes to Earth in Kansas, falls through the planet to the other side (which I guess is Russia).  Supergirl pops out, doesn’t know where she is, punches some guys in robot suits, then Superman shows up and tells her to chill out.

That is the whole thing.  It’s twenty pages, not including something like 10 pages of ads (most of which were actually for other DC titles, so it’s not like they were making money on that space), and that’s all that happens.  It’s like four pages out of a regular comic, but here stretched out over twenty.

We get a tiny bit of insight, I guess, in the form of her narration, but it’s mostly stuff like, “Why don’t I feel cold?”  or “What is wrong with the sun?” or “Dad would want me to get up if I fall down”, so I guess her dad was Thomas Wayne, or something.  This is not very much.  She doesn’t have a distinct voice, she doesn’t even find out where she is by the end of the book.  What is she like?  What does she want?  Why am I interested in continuing to read about her?

Well, I’m not.

There’s no other characters at all introduced, except for Superman, and I’ve got to be honest, I didn’t have any intention of reading Superman, either, because I’m not really interested in Superman.  And this is what I was trying to get at with my earlier criticisms of Supergirl, and that is that this could have very easily been a book in which Superman was largely a background character, and his involvement didn’t require you knowing anything more about him than what you’d know if you saw the movie.

But right off the bat, it’s not.  It’s about Supergirl AND Superman, which means if I’m not reading Superman also, I’m probably not going to know what’s going on.  It’s exactly the same kind of mucky, impenetrable crossover nonsense that’s always kept me away from it.

Aaaaaah.  Just can’t.  Just don’t.

The art is pretty nice, though.  Good action scenes, neat crisp colors; even her weird, inverse-kneepads and highlighted vulva didn’t look bad.  (They did still look dumb, though.)

But whatever.  I already barely remember what happened in this, I probably won’t remember it all until the next one comes out.

  1. lowkey says:

    It is a shame that you don’t have infinite time, patience, and money; I’m really going to miss these reviews once you stop buying the comics, i.e. past the first issue.

  2. braak says:

    Maybe I can trick them into sending me review copies?

    Though I don’t know how much the reviews word be worth.

    “Supergirl #2: Yep. Still boring.”

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