5 Questions I Have RE: The Philly Comic Con Lineup

Posted: May 23, 2012 in comic books, Jeff Holland, Threat Quality
Tags: , , , ,

Wizard World Philadelphia‘s coming up again, and after looking at the guest lineup, I have a few follow-up questions:

1)      Do you think if I pay a little extra, I could get a picture where I’m hugging Stan Lee? That’s sort of been a goal of mine for a while.

2)      How, exactly, does one fill up a 45-minute Q&A session with Hayden Panettiere? She didn’t write Heroes. She can’t answer any burning questions left dangling. Hell, the actual writers of Heroes can’t do that because they didn’t give a stone cold fuck in the first place. So…I guess we just ask what it was like on the set of I Love You Beth Cooper, and then she tells us how awesome dolphins are?

3)      Is Chris Hemsworth’s agent just a complete dick or something? Why was this man not informed that at this stage in his career, he’s a couple notches above “appearance at regional comic book convention”?

4)      Do the sagging, aged former pro wrestlers on one side of the autograph alley look at the wrestlers on the other side of the alley and think, “At least I don’t look as bad as THAT guy!”?

5)      Would it be wrong to ask Lisa Gleave (Suitcase #3 – “Deal or No Deal”) if she’d developed some kind of back story for her character? And if she cries herself to sleep every night, or only most nights?

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Comments
  1. Nathan says:

    “2) How, exactly, does one fill up a 45-minute Q&A session with Hayden Panettiere? She didn’t write Heroes. She can’t answer any burning questions left dangling. Hell, the actual writers of Heroes can’t do that because they didn’t give a stone cold fuck in the first place. So…I guess we just ask what it was like on the set of I Love You Beth Cooper, and then she tells us how awesome dolphins are?”

    Kingdom Hearts, the god-awful Bring It On sequel and “What is it like to ride a zebra?”

    “4) Do the sagging, aged former pro wrestlers on one side of the autograph alley look at the wrestlers on the other side of the alley and think, “At least I don’t look as bad as THAT guy!”?”

    Speaking as somebody who has only recently gotten into professional wrestling (About five weeks now.) and has done pay per view only once with TNA. (They were signifigantly cheeper and I was in a good mood.) I can categorically state that it would be hard to look worse than some of the current professional wrestlers around.

  2. Jeff Holland says:

    Trust me, there is something uniquely sad about seeing the 60-year-old Honky-Tonk Man, trudging around at a comic convention in shorts and flip-flops, his jumpsuit slung over one shoulder.

    Also, I’m now quite curious what it’s like to ride a zebra.

  3. braak says:

    It’s not…practically different from riding a horse, is it? The stripes don’t actually impact the riding process, I should think.

  4. braak says:

    I would mostly ask Hayden Panittiere about her relationship with Wladimir Klitschko, and how he has to have been 100% radder than NY Jets receiver Scotty McKnight.

  5. Nathan says:

    Braak-That has almost nothing to do with why I want to know. (Holland- If you get the opportunity. Do please ask.) Zebra are shaped far differently from what most people think of as horses. They have much larger shoulders and a sloping back so you would have to make a unique saddle for the beast and spend most of the time up on your legs and make it impossible to rest while in the saddle. Zebra (Zebras? Zebri? Zebrai?) are also signifigantly shorter and have a stockier neck+ head than a “regular” horse. So you would need a special bridle and something to compensate for the changed position on the animal.

    Regular jockey techniques simply wouldn’t work and you would need something new.

    Simple gimicks? In my kids movie? They’re more complicated than you think.

  6. braak says:

    Well, that is 100% more than I have ever known about zebras.

  7. Jeff Holland says:

    I just know that I’d feel about 25% cooler riding a zebra than I would a horse.

    And that zebra would be confused as fuck.

  8. Nathan says:

    More research has now been done.

    (Tangentally related and kinda interesting.)

    It looks like they compensate by riding further up on the sholders to fix the slope and the belly of the beast, rather than ride upon it’s back. So rather than riding upon a noble steed your getting a piggy back ride from a horse. Which is awesome.

    They’ve also elongate the reins and widened the bit to compensate for the issues with it’s neck and head.

    Aparrently they’re harder to shoe though. Narrower hooves and a slightly different way of walking.

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