Wait…hold on. What? What…?
Are you fucking kidding me?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Yeah, look, that’s a pretty fine argument, but it’s also completely ridiculous that having a story ultimately be about a mother and a daughter learning to love each other needs to be one in which the movie is very clearly about to be one thing, and then turns into the bear-slapstick-comedy hour for no reason in the middle.
Look, if you want to live in a world where mother-daughter relationship movies don’t by necessity have to include a bear-slapstick-comedy hour in the middle somewhere, then I’m not sure there’s anything that can be done for you.
That said! The fact that somebody felt that slapping a bear-slapstic-comedy hour in the middle was required in order to sell a story about a mother and a daughter learning to love each other says quite a bit about the state of filmmakery.
Either that, or somebody at Pixar really wanted to watch a bunch of bears mugging for a bit.
But then why couldn’t the WHOLE THING have been about bears? I’d have watched that! Who doesn’t love watching bears?
It could have been like “How to Train Your Dragon,” only with bears, that would have been awesome.
Because of the dreaded threat of FEMINISM, braak.
Not only does it sap your vital fluids and threaten your rightful position astride the globe like an alabaster Colossus, it also taints your bear-baiting entertainments.
GOD DAMN IT IS THERE NOTHING FEMINISM CAN’T RUIN
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