Posts Tagged ‘Burn Notice’

A spy’s career is destroyed with paperwork, casting him out into the cold – though ironically, the only place he can go to ground is his home town of Miami. The only people who can help him return to the dangerous life he yearns for are an alcoholic ex-Special Forces retiree, and the spy’s violent-tempered, gunrunning ex-girlfriend. While they take odd jobs that help the spy regain a sense of purpose, hidden cabals are working to corrupt him to suit their own ends.

Every time I remember there’s a show on TV with a premise this solid, my heart kind of breaks that it turns out to be Burn Notice.

On the flip-side, every time the description “After a TV psychic’s wife and child are murdered by a serial killer, the former carnival act/scam artist works with the law to trick murderers into revealing themselves” crosses my mind, I can’t believe The Mentalist is also really enjoyable pretty much every week.

TV: Boy, you never can tell.

Dear Television Gods:

I would like to respectfully submit my request for the Best Thing On Television Ever. You could make it my combo Birthday/Christmas gift, maybe? That means you’ve got plenty of time to make this happen, and it’s my understanding that if I believe in you (and also perform some heinous arcane acts*), you guys can do it!

What I want is this: a TV’s Smartest Man in the Room Competition. It would feature the (often self-proclaimed) most-genius-ever headliners of currently-airing primetime dramas, in a room with each other, trying to show how much smarter they are than their competitors. A non-reality reality contest show, if you will.

I do not know how they would prove this, but I’ve got some ideas. But first, the competitors:

It would star Dr. Gregory House (from House), Dr. Calvin Lightman (from Lie to Me), Patrick Jane (from The Mentalist), Nathan Ford (from Leverage), Ben Linus (from Lost) and Michael Weston (from Burn Notice).

There would also be two wildcards:

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Christopher Chance in the Human Target comics: a master of disguise, who immerses himself in the identity of the protectee whose place he’s taking. The downside: Because he’s so good at reflecting the psychology of the roles he takes on, he is in constant danger of losing his own personality in the process – effectively “going native” in someone else’s life.

Christopher Chance in the Human Target TV series: a bodyguard of limitless talents who takes on the role of a “nobody” in the background to give the impression his client is undetected, so he can flush out the threat, and then engage in an exciting if improbable action sequence.

So, being that Human Target, the series keeps the name “Christopher Chance,” and the bodyguard profession and discards everything else that would make the property notable…why call it Human Target at all?

Why not call it what it really is: Not Quite Burn Notice, But Look At This Budget!

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