Posts Tagged ‘Politics’

Happy Election Day

Posted: November 4, 2008 in Jeff Holland, Politics
Tags: ,

I should hope you’re reading this after voting this morning, or else, you’re just checking this site for some insightful mccainbmpcommentary before you head out to vote on your way home from work.

Or your ill-spent day collecting unemployment, or welfare, or whatever else, you socialist pinko bastards.

With that in mind, I was going to write a thing about if you hadn’t intended to vote, how you really should, and one vote blab la bla, but…I’ve never actually met anyone who doesn’t vote.

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As some of you may know, I have a habit of making fun of idiots, both here and in reality. Ordinarily, I make fun of relevant idiots–or, like Stephen Baldwin, at least idiots that have busy schedules. Every once in a while, though, I end up picking a fight with an idiot that apparently has nothing better to do than rise to the implicit challenge that I offer: “Just how fucking stupid are you?”

And, oh my, the writer and readers of the fascinating study in political dumbfuckery that I linked to earlier, Rosetta the Racist, did not disappoint.

[UPDATE:  It’s been pointed out to me that some commenters lack the courage of their convictions, and would prefer to continue to lurk behind their masks of anonymity.  I have obligingly removed their e-mail addresses from this post, which were included due to oversight.]

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Here we come to Rosetta the Racist herself.  Rosetta has, in the long and honorable tradition of high-strung fruitcakes flipping out when they’re criticised, written an enthusiastic and vitriolic response to my calling her an idiot.  I can’t imagine why.  Surely, my own credentials don’t merit this kind of attention, do they?  It’s not like I was calling her out in the Times, or anything.  I’m not complaining, mind you–Rosetta’s managed to triple my page views, drastically increase my authority on Technorati, and move Threat Quality Press up a few notches on the list if you do a Google search for “Idiot Republicans.”

[UPDATE:  I am informed that Rosetta is actually a man.  I will continue to refer to her as “she,” because if she has no problem creating the confusion, then I have no problem propagating it.]

Anyway.  To work!

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One of the good things about WordPress is that when you sign in, it gives you links to a whole bunch of other blogs that are run through the same service.  It’s promoting interconnectedness, or immanentizing the singularity, or spiming the cube, or whatever Bruce Sterling would call it.

Today, I saw a blog post that caught my eye, and clicked on it.  It said:  I, Rosetta, Am A Proud Racist.

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There was a little piece in the New York Daily News today, from Stephen Baldwin:

“I’d like to knock some good sense into Barack,” Alec’s right-wing bro said at the Printing House Gym in the Village. “I wouldn’t hurt him. But if he wins the election, he’ll hurt me. He’s a cultural terrorist”

I’m going to repeat part of that, because I think that it’s important.  Stephen Baldwin–STEPHEN BALDWIN–called Barack Obama a “cultural terrorist.”  Stephen Baldwin, whose contributions to American culture include, but ARE NOT LIMITED TO:  The Snake King, The Sex Monster, Dark Storm, EARTH Storm, and SLAPSHOT 2:  BREAKING THE ICE.

It’s fairly safe to say that Stephen Baldwin wouldn’t know culture if Werner Herzog took a copy of Don Quixote and BEAT HIM TO DEATH WITH IT while Picasso played “Moonlight Sonata” in the background.

Stephen Baldwin.  I just don’t even know what to do.  I’m contributing to the problem, obviously, and I shouldn’t be, but I can’t help it–for real, regardless of how, if you think about it, you can make an argument that a person is slightly kind of almost famous, RETARDED PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT POLITICS.

YEEEEARRRRGHH!  Apoplexy!

My fellow Americans, there is positively no denying that we are living in some tough times. The economy is unstable, unemployment has reached shocking heights, ten percent of Americans face foreclosure and, let’s face it, we still have to weather several more months of having a total douchebag in the presidency. But, my fellow Americans, if we hope to ever see better days, then the absolute last thing that we can afford to do is surrender to hopeless cynicism.That is why I have devoted my day to a few ideas that I think will help promote a recuperative environment for America.

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I want to draw your attention to this.  It’s from a site called the American Thinker, and I’m kind of torn about giving it any credence.  I don’t know that I want people to actually read this article, because I don’t want to contribute, in even the remotest way, to its credibility.  It’s an article hypothesizing that Barack Obama’s memoir, Dreams of My Father, was actually ghost-written by Bill Ayers.

And it is utterly moronic.

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