Posts Tagged ‘Spider-Man’

Superior_spiderman_1Here is the thing about Spider-Man: It’s pretty easy to find good Spider-Man comics that fit the platonic ideal of Spider-Man (“With great power comes great responsibility”+ Peter Parker’s crappy luck + girl problems + goofy super-villains + wisecracks = Standard-Issue Spider-Man Story).

The problem comes when writers decide to break out of the mold and try something a little different than what Spider-Man’s used to. Sometimes you get an undisputed classic (“Kraven’s Last Hunt,” which is fricking amazing, but feels almost 0% like a “standard” Spidey story).

A lot more often, that’s when you get things like The Clone Saga, where Peter’s entire LIFE was (for a while) a lie, and he was fighting weird mystical cults and magic people with backstories-to-be-filled-in-later, and …

Yo, I was there. Peter Parker got so stressed over that story he backhanded pregnant Mary Jane and even decided not to even be Peter Parker for a while, “Only The SPIDER!”  (more…)

Image“But why does there need to be a new Spider-Man movie? The last one just came out five years ago! Whyyyyyyyyyyyy”

Sorry, but every Amazing Spider-Man-related article to come out in the last week has used some variation on this question, so I figured I’d start there.

The answer is because Sony doesn’t want to lose the rights to a lucrative franchise, dummy movie reviewer. You know it, I know it, Sony sure as shit knows it. So quit wringing your hands over it and move on.

And you BETTER not ask this question when the rebooted Fantastic Four and Daredevil films show up, either.

(AND WHILE WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT: The reason the upcoming Green Arrow TV series is called simply “Arrow” is because the CW would rather not have audiences connect this to two recent cinematic failures, Green Lantern and Green Hornet. It’s the same reason Red Dragon was renamed Manhunter in the 80’s. So you can all shut your question-holes about that one, too.)

Anyway, here’s an even better answer to “Why reboot the Spider-Man franchise?” and the reason I’m actually starting to look forward to it a little more.

(I mean, a better answer than, “Spider-Man is usually portrayed as a high school/college aged guy, and Toby Maguire is like 40 now.”)

It’s because every single character in these movies is Just The Worst.

Let’s run it down:  (more…)

This guy is going to be Spider-Man in the new Marc Webb-directed reboot. I vaguely remember him from The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, and I don’t recall him angering me with his performance in any way.

Sorry if that’s a bit vague, but this was a movie where Tom Waits was The Devil and Heath Ledger turned into Johnny Depp JUST BECAUSE. There were some bigger things going on.

– On the other side of things, Edward Norton won’t be the Hulk/Bruce Banner in the upcoming Avengers movie. What amuses me about this is that Marvel’s Kevin Feige released a letter that pretty blatantly confirmed that it wasn’t a money issue, so much an Edward-Norton-Likes-To-Micromanage-Every-Bit-Of-The-Movies-He’s-In issue.

Meanwhile, Edward Norton’s agent has released a rebuttal statement, which is essentially, “Well. Thanks a lot, dick!”

I quite enjoyed the last take on the Hulk and I think Norton was probably a big part of it – but that said, I don’t know that this will really devastate anyone, particularly if the casting announcement at Comicon is at all interesting (see: Don Cheadle replacing Terrance Howard).

MOST IMPORTANT TO NOTE! The Crank writing/directing team of Neveldine/Taylor will be taking over the Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance sequel, which is a THING THAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING. If I had one complaint (non-Nic Cage Hairpiece Category) with the Ghost Rider movie, it was that it wasn’t nearly crazy enough. This should solve that.

On Comicon: God, I just do not fucking care.

PRO’s: Donald Glover is awesome. He is young. He is a heady mix of funny and nerdy. And as my girlfriend pointed out after a day of facepainting for a car dealership event: race doesn’t matter – all children want their faces painted like Spidey.

CON: I am assuming if you cast an African-American Peter Parker, you’d also want to cast his family as such, too, right? And who is it that teaches Peter, “With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility”?