Posts Tagged ‘The Flash’

Dear Hollywood,

Hi! Long-time fan, and frequent critic of everything you do. Sorry, it’s the internet. You know how that goes.

Anyway, I just watched Unknown, that Liam Neeson movie where he thinks his identity’s been stolen/erased, and I liked it for what it was. Sure, there were a couple of big-ass plot holes, but you don’t watch a movie like that and think, “Man, I hope this is strictly devoted to realism.”

And hey, you didn’t go with the “doppelganger from another universe” twist, so good for you!

But more and more, I see that you’re working overtime to cut costs on the big-budget action flicks you’re (somewhat paradoxically) happy to produce, and I think I’ve come up with a solution you’ll really like:

Cool it with the car-chase scenes.  (more…)

I want to make this clear, I don’t really read The Flash, so I don’t have a vested interest in this, or anything.  This isn’t me saying, “I grew up with Wally West, damn it, and I want everything to always be the same!’  Only jerks do that.  This is me, reading butt-tonnes of analysis (haha, get it?  PUN INTENDED) on the subject, and coming to some conclusions that I’m surprised aren’t raised more often.

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By way of explaining what may be the only reasonable way to watch “The Cape,” let me share with you a formative Holland-moment from my youth: the day I took a cleat to the crotch and learned to love “The Flash.”

It was little league soccer, the autumn of 1990, when I, a feisty young fullback, attempted to defend my goal by charging full-steam at the left winger in control of the ball. It was me or him.

Which naturally meant it was me. He took a big swing at the ball, sending it slamming into my hip and bouncing out of bounds. But on the upswing, his cleat – heel first – collided with my 10-year-old Most Important Bits. It was…unpleasant.

I lay there on the field, howling (as manfully as a 10-year-old can, I imagine) in pain, when my dad/coach came over to check on me. “How you doing?” he asked, apparently not having heard my manful cries. “You wanna…uh…sit out for a few minutes?”  (more…)

Friend of TQP Matt Burns says, “I’d personally love to see a Flash movie. It would have the best running scenes since ‘Chariots of Fire.’ Though I can’t imagine how a film about a fast runner would be marketable.”

Despite all the comic-movie excitement over Marvel’s Avengers franchise, there’s not a lot of attention going to DC’s nascent attempts to build its own movie market. Sure, everyone’s curious about the next Batman movie, and to a lesser extent when the hell a new Superman movie might happen, and to an even lesser extent if there will ever be a worthwhile Wonder Woman movie.

But jeez, Green Lantern is currently filming and nobody outside of IO9 seems to give a shit.

So why isn’t the Warner Bros. movie-making-monster banging the publicity drum for its lesser-known properties, like Marvel did with Iron Man?

The Flash – like Iron Man – has two things going for it as a property: an absolutely awesome costume, and a superpower people can wrap their brains around pretty easily. He’s the Fastest Man Alive.

It also has the same problem as Iron Man – people kinda-sorta recognize the guy, but not enough to be intrinsically interested.

So it’s up to the screenwriters to show why people should give a damn.

Don’t anyone worry: I got this one. I Am Here To Help.

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