Posts Tagged ‘The Flash’

Dear Hollywood,

Hi! Long-time fan, and frequent critic of everything you do. Sorry, it’s the internet. You know how that goes.

Anyway, I just watched Unknown, that Liam Neeson movie where he thinks his identity’s been stolen/erased, and I liked it for what it was. Sure, there were a couple of big-ass plot holes, but you don’t watch a movie like that and think, “Man, I hope this is strictly devoted to realism.”

And hey, you didn’t go with the “doppelganger from another universe” twist, so good for you!

But more and more, I see that you’re working overtime to cut costs on the big-budget action flicks you’re (somewhat paradoxically) happy to produce, and I think I’ve come up with a solution you’ll really like:

Cool it with the car-chase scenes.  (more…)

I want to make this clear, I don’t really read The Flash, so I don’t have a vested interest in this, or anything.  This isn’t me saying, “I grew up with Wally West, damn it, and I want everything to always be the same!’  Only jerks do that.  This is me, reading butt-tonnes of analysis (haha, get it?  PUN INTENDED) on the subject, and coming to some conclusions that I’m surprised aren’t raised more often.


By way of explaining what may be the only reasonable way to watch “The Cape,” let me share with you a formative Holland-moment from my youth: the day I took a cleat to the crotch and learned to love “The Flash.”

It was little league soccer, the autumn of 1990, when I, a feisty young fullback, attempted to defend my goal by charging full-steam at the left winger in control of the ball. It was me or him.

Which naturally meant it was me. He took a big swing at the ball, sending it slamming into my hip and bouncing out of bounds. But on the upswing, his cleat – heel first – collided with my 10-year-old Most Important Bits. It was…unpleasant.

I lay there on the field, howling (as manfully as a 10-year-old can, I imagine) in pain, when my dad/coach came over to check on me. “How you doing?” he asked, apparently not having heard my manful cries. “You wanna…uh…sit out for a few minutes?”  (more…)

Friend of TQP Matt Burns says, “I’d personally love to see a Flash movie. It would have the best running scenes since ‘Chariots of Fire.’ Though I can’t imagine how a film about a fast runner would be marketable.”

Despite all the comic-movie excitement over Marvel’s Avengers franchise, there’s not a lot of attention going to DC’s nascent attempts to build its own movie market. Sure, everyone’s curious about the next Batman movie, and to a lesser extent when the hell a new Superman movie might happen, and to an even lesser extent if there will ever be a worthwhile Wonder Woman movie.

But jeez, Green Lantern is currently filming and nobody outside of IO9 seems to give a shit.

So why isn’t the Warner Bros. movie-making-monster banging the publicity drum for its lesser-known properties, like Marvel did with Iron Man?

The Flash – like Iron Man – has two things going for it as a property: an absolutely awesome costume, and a superpower people can wrap their brains around pretty easily. He’s the Fastest Man Alive.

It also has the same problem as Iron Man – people kinda-sorta recognize the guy, but not enough to be intrinsically interested.

So it’s up to the screenwriters to show why people should give a damn.

Don’t anyone worry: I got this one. I Am Here To Help.