Posts Tagged ‘Zombies’

So, it turns out that some guy thinks that maybe there’s a super-potent form of LSD that turns you into a naked cannibal maniac.  Maybe that guy is just a NARC, trying to blame everything on drugs, but really, there definitely are naked cannibal maniacs out there, so I want to take a brief moment and talk about the best kind of weapons to use in the case of zombie apocalypse, so that you can start practicing NOW, and be ready when the naked cannibal maniacs take over.

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I noticed this when I was in the bookstore.  “Gosh,” I thought to myself, “maybe if someone wrote a book about a zombie outbreak, maybe that would be cool!”

Probably it will never happen, though.  In the meantime, here are some thoughts about zombies.

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Happy Day of the Living Dead

Posted: April 4, 2010 in Braak
Tags: , , ,

As all of you know, today is Easter, a day in which Christians celebrate the terrible majesty of their Undead God.

In thirty-three AD, a criminal madman was sentenced to death by the Roman Governor Pontius Pilate.  Three days after the execution, the man returned from Hell leading an army of the damned, and changing the face of civilization as we know it.  As is custom, every year Christians gather to appease the monstrous undead legions with fresh rabbit carcasses, attempting to sate their terrible hunger in the hopes that they will be spared and live to see the glorious End of Days, when ALL the dead shall rise up and devour the living, and also there will be locusts and plagues and stuff.

Though I am not an adherent to this faith, I feel that it is important to look past sectarian differences and recognize brothers and sisters in terror.

Iä!  Iä!  Iesu Ftahn!